


Beating Out Of Time

by Bumping_Bees, Mejewskie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Bad Puns, Bickering, Biphobia, Cockblocking Bees, Draco Malfoy Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Draco has a heart condition, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Healer Harry Potter, Healer Hermione Granger, Hurt/Comfort, Luna and Draco are close friends, M/M, POV Draco Malfoy, POV Harry Potter, Pining, Slow Burn, Snark, Soulmates, Wandmaker Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2020-02-09 09:30:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 41,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18635428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bumping_Bees/pseuds/Bumping_Bees, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mejewskie/pseuds/Mejewskie
Summary: Draco developed atrial fibrillation when the Dark Lord lived in his home. Now, he tries to manage it and stay out of St. Mungos. No one understands why a muggle heart condition is affecting him or why it's getting worse. Magic should have been enough to heal him. As if he doesn't have enough to worry about, Harry Potter, the guy Draco is in love with, is his new healer... and someone is lurking in the shadows, trying to scare him half to death?Harry is in a bad relationship with Anthony. He doesn't like it, but no one else has stuck around. Gossip columns drive them away. When Harry starts treating Draco, he's forced to realize he has changed. Before he knows it, Draco is creeping into his heart, but will Harry be able to save Draco's life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lydialovesdreaming](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydialovesdreaming/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was specially written for my friend Lydia, who wants to read a fic about Draco having a heart condition (I'll reveal the exact condition later). I hope she enjoys this. 
> 
> Special thanks to my sister and Mejewskie for beta reading this.
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

_My hair stands on end. It feels so cold. I don't want to open my eyes. I know what I will see. The Dark Lord and his snake. This shouldn't be possible! Potter defeated him! I can hear the soft brush of fabric on the ground as he draws nearer._

_"Draco... you and your family are traitors." His voice is deceptively soft. "You should have known I would come back. Lord Voldemort always comes back."_

_Panic wells in my throat. I can't speak. I whimper, curling up on the floor. I feel the brush of Nagini as she moves against my side._

_"I've already taken care of your parents. It's your turn... but first... I feel like you deserve to be punished for betraying me. You can try begging for mercy. I might make your death quick."_

_"P-Please," I choke out._

_Gods, please let it be quick. I don't think my body will withstand anymore torture. My heart is already beating painfully fast._

_There is the sound of a quiet laugh. My stomach drops. I know nothing I do will be enough._

_" **Crucio**!"_

* * *

 "Draco!"

Someone slaps me upside the head. I jerk up, my ear ringing from where Pansy hit me.

"Thank Merlin!" she says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and forcing a bottle into my hand. "You were having another nightmare."

I gasp for breath and stare around the spare bedroom in Pansy's flat, trying to get my bearings. I barely hear her. She seems to realize that I'm not listening. She takes the bottle back and presses it to my mouth instead.

"Drink."

I obey the command without thinking, downing the familiar concoction. It takes a few seconds, but soon my heart rate starts to slow to a more manageable and safer rhythm.

"What time is it?" I ask her, shivering.

"Four in the morning.... Was it another nightmare about... _him_?"

I nod jerkily and try to relax. I am safe. The Dark Lord is dead. That damned snake is dead too. I nearly cried when Neville sliced her head off.

Pansy is rubbing my shoulder. She's trying to soothe me, but nothing really helps after a nightmare. I feel cold.

"I need to go. I have to make sure my mother is alright." I start to stand up, but Pansy grabs my arm.

"Draco, she is okay. She's at the chateau in Bourbonnais. No one is going to hurt her after she saved Potter's life." She must see me frown, because she adds quickly, "Draco, we're supposed to go to Luna's wedding. You are her best man."

I pause, grimacing. Luna forced her friendship on me after the war. She apparently grew fond of me when I kept sneaking down to the cellar to bring her food and water when she was being held prisoner at the manor. We did talk a lot during that time. 

Truth be told, I really like her. She is a bit mad, but she was the first person to speak for me at my trial. I was still sent to Azkaban, but Luna protested the decision for hours. I strongly suspect she continued to badger the ministry until they let me go a few months later. I also just like her as a person. She is fun to be around.

When she asked me to be her best man at her wedding, I tried to refuse. I didn't want to cast any shadows on her special day. I was certain that people would be unnerved at seeing a former death eater in the wedding party. Luna was persistent though. She completely ignored my protests, carrying on as if I had said yes. Finally, I had to accept my fate. I love her and I won't ruin her wedding. I trust her judgement on this. 

My eyes find Pansy's gaze. She knows she's won. I stumble to my feet and grab my wand, casting a quick _tempus_. I still have two hours before I'm expected to help prepare for the wedding.

"Pans, I'll be right back. I just need to see her. I'll only be an hour."

"If you are late and Ginny blames me for it, I swear I'll hex you into next week." 

"Love you too, Pans." 

* * *

 My mother is in the garden when I arrive at the chateau. She doesn't notice me at first. She is bowed over a bed of irises.They've been spelled mother of pearl and gold. Mother took up gardening as a hobby after my father was imprisoned. 

I clear my throat, letting my mother know I'm here. She turns around and a smile lights up her face when she sees me. All of the tension leaves my body.

"Good morning, Mother," I say, as she walks up to me and cups my face in her hands.

"You missed some ash," she murmurs, running a thumb over my cheek.

"It gets all over when I travel via floo powder." I take her wrists in my hands as she searches my face. She knows something is wrong. She always knows.

"How is your heart?"

I can't blame her for worrying. I was hospitalized the last time I had a panic attack. Her fingers find my pulse before I can answer.

"I am fine. Pansy woke me up from a nightmare and gave me the potion before it got too bad," I reassure her, but she still frowns. She's counting the irregular beats over and over again.

"Take some more potion. We don't want you to end up at St. Mungos before Luna gets married."

My mother loves Luna as if she were her own daughter. If Luna and I weren't both hopelessly gay, I'm sure my mother would have tried to arrange us to be married. She did try once, but Luna had hugged her and started calling her mother as well. Apparently, that was all my mother wanted. Now, Luna and I are like siblings. 

My mother has loved Luna since my trial. When I came home from Azkaban, Luna helped nurse me to health. I was malnourished and my heart condition had gone untreated for too long. I was dead on my feet.

When I was finally well again, she tattooed a garden of flowers around my dark mark. Morning glories, African daisies, poppies, moon flowers, four o'clocks, and evening primrose surround it. Luna enchanted them to open and close when the real flowers would. Right now, as dawn breaks over the horizon, the night flowers are closing on my arm and the day flowers are blooming.

My mother watches them. She loves the tattoo as much as I do. She never approved of me getting the dark mark. The flowers are supposed to symbolize change and growth. They are fascinating to watch. The beauty of the flowers hides the ugliness of the dark mark. 

* * *

 

After I take the second potion, I eat an early breakfast with my mother. She's still worried, I can tell, but she doesn't say anything. She goes out into the garden when breakfast is over and starts cutting flowers. I don't know the name of all of the flowers. They're all gold and mother of pearl. She makes two bouquets, the irises at the center of them.

"Give these to Luna and Ginny. I've spelled them to never wilt." Mother kisses my cheek and hands me the bouquets.

"Alright," I smile at her, "I'll see you at the reception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, please consider leaving a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2. Thanks for the excellent feedback last time! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

" _There_ you are!"

I see a flash of red and gold and then Ginny is in my arms. She is hugging me so hard, I swear my ribs will crack if she doesn't loosen her grip.

"Congratulations on getting married," I gasp, hugging her back.

"I haven't seen you in ages! I thought for sure you wouldn't make it!"

"Gin... I can't breathe." She lets me go and I frown faintly. "I did RSVP."

"But Anthony didn't. You go everywhere together." Ginny rolls her eyes. She doesn't like Anthony. She hasn't since I started dating him.

I suppose that's to be expected. Anthony does take up a lot of my time. He likes to be first in my life. He doesn't like it when I hang out with friends or ex-girlfriends... which means, everytime I hang out with Gin, he gets upset.

Ginny and I never got back together after the war. She started dating Luna the day I defeated Voldemort. It stung a bit, but I was happy for them. I still am. We were in the middle of searching for the dead and wounded, when Luna caught sight of Ginny. She ran right into her arms, making Ginny fall over, and then kissed her right in front of everyone. It was actually really sweet.

For some reason, Anthony is jealous of Gin, I think. I've only been dating him for five months and I guess Ginny intimidates him. He said it's because I'm bisexual and it's hard to trust bi men. I don't understand it. I just try to appease him.

Anthony is the only one who has actually wanted to be with me since the war... at least, for an extended length of time. The press and publicity drive most of my love interests off... and it's been lonely without someone to come home to. I don't want to jeopardize that.

Ginny wanted me to be in her wedding party, but with my job, it was impossible. I work as a healer in St. Mungos. I just finished my training last month. When I'm not working, Anthony takes up most of my time. I feel guilty about it. Ron and Hermoine will be getting married soon too, and I don't think Anthony will be okay with me taking on best man duties for Ron either.

"He's just... in a bit of a bad mood. He still thinks we're going to elope."

"I literally just married Luna! Harry, doesn't Anthony seem..." she trails off.

"Ginny, I'm happy with him." I really don't want to argue with her on her wedding day, so I change the subject. "Your bouquets are beautiful."

Ginny shoots me a Look™, but seems to decide it's not worth arguing with me right now. "Thank you. Narcissa made them with flowers from her garden. They're enchanted to never wilt."

I stare at her. I knew Luna and Malfoy were close, which I still don't understand, but I had no idea they were that close. I guess I should have realized it. Malfoy was her best man... and they're dancing together right now.

I watch as Luna and Malfoy take turns spinning the other around. She's talking happily about something. I wonder if it's about some strange creature that likes wedding cake that only she knows about. I miss hearing about the creatures that only she knows. 

Malfoy chuckles and ruffles her blonde hair. I've never seen him like this before. A small part of me feels resentful that he can dance and laugh so freely... but then, I'm the reason why he can.

When Malfoy was sent to Azkaban, Luna stormed into my house and demanded I appeal to the ministry. Really, I didn't want to at first. I was exhausted from attending his mother's trial and keeping her out of Azkaban. I owed her a life debt. Malfoy though... I just never wanted to see the git ever again. I still don't. I do love Luna though, so I decided to help. Besides... Malfoy is a tosser, but he's not evil. He did refuse to identify me to his father that one time... and he threw me a wand during the fight with Voldemort. 

It took three months appealing to the ministry for them to let Malfoy out. He was released into Luna's care and under house arrest for six months. I didn't see her much after that. I've only seen Malfoy from a distance. 

Ginny is saying something, but all of my focus is on Malfoy and Luna. They've stopped dancing. Malfoy looks pale. He is staring at something on the ground. I follow his gaze and see a snake slithering across the dance floor, straight at Malfoy and Luna. Malfoy's hand flies to his chest. Luna is shouting.

He crumples and Luna keeps him from crashing to the floor. My body reacts before my mind does. I run across the room, a hiss building in my throat.

" _Stop! Don't hurt him_ ," I demand in Parseltongue, surprising myself. I haven't spoken in Parseltongue since the war. I didn't know I could still do it.

The snake stops, turning its head toward me. Ginny is hot on my heels and pulls her wand out of her gold and white dress robes. She vanishes the snake and looks murderously around the room. I don't have time to try to figure out who conjured the snake.

I spin on my heel and move to Malfoy's side. He's white as a sheet, lying in Luna's arms. His hand is still clutching at his chest.

"P-Potion," he rasps.

Luna shouts something and Pansy Parkinson is there. She is holding a vial in her hand.

Parkinson pours the potion into his mouth as I pull out my wand and start running through diagnostic spells. His heart rate is out of control.

"He needs to go to St. Mungos. Now."

* * *

Draco Malfoy is lying in a hospital cot, sleeping, when I walk into his room. I'm in my healer robes. I never thought I would be treating my school rival... I never thought I would actually be this worried about him.

Narcissa, Luna, and Parkinson all stand when I step inside. Ginny is curled up in an armchair in the corner. They're all still in their dress robes.

"How is he?" Narcissa asks as Luna puts a hand on her arm.

"His heart is enlarged," I say as gently as I can. "Its a complication from his atrial fibrillation."

Narcissa blanches. Luna guides her to sit down on the bed next to Malfoy's feet.

"Deep breaths, Mother." Luna hugs Narcissa.

I force down my confusion at hearing that. I need to remain professional. Malfoy is my patient. Parkinson moves closer to me.

"What is he at risk for now? What can we do to help him? This is something that can be treated, right?" she demands, her hands on her hips. "You're the fucking chosen one! You saved the whole world! Save him!"

She doesn't give me a chance to respond. She grabs my robes and starts shaking me so hard my glasses nearly fall off. Ginny grabs her arm seconds later and forces her to let go of me.

"Manhandling his healer is _not_ going to help Draco," she says darkly.

"There is a lot to go over. I understand that you are worried about him, but rest assured, I will treat him to the best of my abilities." I fix my glasses.

"That doesn't count for much, Potter." Parkinson sneers. "It's not  like you were the brightest in our year."

"That would be me, actually," Hermione says curtly, coming into the room. "Harry and I trained together. He's very efficient at his job."

I sigh heavily. This bickering won't help Malfoy. I move passed Parkinson and Ginny. I have a potion to give the blond ferret. It should help keep his heart from getting any worse.

I have to use a spell to administer it so I don't wake him. Everyone is being too noisy and there's not enough space in this room for them. Malfoy is stirring.

"Everyone, get out. You'll wake him up and he needs rest. You can bicker in the waiting room," I order irritably, keeping my tone low.

It takes a few moments,  but eventually I have room cleared. Even Narcissa left with Luna. I think they're getting tea to calm their nerves.

I glance down at my patient. He seems to be having a nightmare. I summon a draught for dreamless sleep. He needs to get a good night of sleep to heal.

I wonder what his nightmares are about. He's lived such a privileged life, I can't imagine a cause for nightmares. I know Voldemort threatened him before, but I can't see anyone actually hurting Malfoy. Except me.

The thought makes me uncomfortable. I avoid thinking about the time I nearly killed him. I bury the memory now.

I administer the potion with magic and watch as his face smooths out. He stops twitching. As I watch, the color starts to come back to his face. 

He looks kind of... nice. I've never seen Malfoy sleep before. His face is untroubled and peaceful. He isn't snarking or trying to hex me. He's... almost cute.

I blink and shake that thought out of my head. I need tea... or something stronger if I'm thinking Draco Malfoy is cute. My shift is nearly over. Maybe Anthony will agree to go The Leaky Cauldron for some firewiskey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, please consider leaving a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the third chapter!
> 
> Thanks to my beta!
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

_"I'm so worried about him."_

_"We all are."_

_"Ginny, dear, did you figure out who summoned the snake?"_

_"Not yet. I thought it was George... but he's pretty angry that someone tried to hurt Draco at my wedding."_

_"He isn't lying?"_

* * *

  _"Mum was in charge of checking the guest list... she wouldn't have let a death eater in. Why would death eaters want to harm him anyways?"_

_"Think about it... Draco went against Voldemort quite a bit in the war. He refused to identify Harry, he threw Harry a wand, and for the months I was in his cellar..."_

* * *

  _"...Who betrayed Voldemort, a good start would be Draco. He is one of the few people alive who betrayed him."_

_"That means... Mother, you need to be careful. You should stay at the chateau until we find who did this."_

_"I'm not leaving. Draco needs me."_

_"With all due respect, Narcissa, I'll keep him safe. No one will harm him while I'm here."_

_"Harry, you can't watch him all day."_

* * *

 I feel a frown tugging at my mouth. The conversation is giving me a headache. I want to go back to sleep, but the consistent chatter keeps tugging me back to conciousness.

I know that this is probably important. I'm overhearing something I should be paying attention to. I just can't bring myself to care right now. I feel exhausted.

The rest of the conversation turns into a loud buzzing. I pull a pillow over my head and try to block it out. The noise stops abruptly. Thank the gods. As I drift back into sleep, I feel someone lift my head and tuck the pillow back under it.

* * *

 It's dark when I finally wake up properly. I push myself up, squinting in the dark. I've been here enough times to know that I'm in St. Mungos. I can't remember why though. The last thing I remember, I was dancing with Luna. She was telling me about a creature called Ters Ichore. Something about a bunch of them causing an epidemic of dancing mania centuries ago. A lot of muggles died from dancing too much. I can't remember anything after that.

The door opens gently and a figure steps in. I assume it's my healer. I hear him cast the wand lighting charm.

"Malfoy, you're awake."

Oh no. Gods, _please_ , no. I know that voice anywhere. Potter's wand rises and the light expands to fill the whole room.

"Clearly, I am awake. Thanks for stating the obvious. Why are you here, Potter?"

Potter closes his eyes, looking like he's praying for patience. "I'm your healer."

"I demand a new healer. I would like someone competent."

"Too bad. We're understaffed as is. There's no one else to take care of you right now."

I notice he doesn't deny being incompetent. I fold my arms. "I can wait."

"You really can't. Your heart condition needs to be taken care of." Potter gives me a forced smile.

"What?" I stare at him, feeling my stomach drop.

Potter sits down in a chair by my bed. He looks a bit uncomfortable. Good.

"Malfoy, what do you remember about the wedding reception?"

"The last thing I recall, I was dancing with Luna and learning about Ters Ichore."

"Ters... what?"

"Never mind that. What happened?" I demand, looking crossly at him.

"Someone conjured a snake. A type of viper, I think. You had a panic attack and passed out."

"I did not have a panic attack," I hiss indignantly. This was humiliating. Of course it had to be perfect Potter coming to my rescue.

"Right. I forgot that most people faint when they see a viper." Potter's tone is dripping with sarcasm.

"You're not being very professional. I want a new healer."

"You're right. I should be working instead of squabbling." Potter looks like his prayer wasn't answered.

He stands up and holds his wand over me. It scares the hell out of me for a brief moment, but then I remember this is stupidly good Potter. He wouldn't curse me while I'm in a hospital. Though, he does look annoyed enough to cast a silencing charm.

I stay still while he works, studiously ignoring the way his black messy hair falls over his face. I've gotten very good at ignoring his irritatingly perfect features over the decade I've known him.

I've had a ridiculous crush on him since our first year at Hogwarts. I don't understand it. He's an idiot and his hair is abysmal. Has he never heard of a comb?

I lived with the Dark Lord for two years. He was in my home, torturing me whenever I did the smallest thing wrong. He was probably punishing my parents. It never got easier. Those years were the darkest of my life. I had no reprieve. Even when I was at school, I was constantly worried he would kill my parents.

The only reason I didn't fall apart was Potter. I held onto the belief that he would bring down the Dark Lord. Harry Potter would win. I just had to hold on until then.

So I did. I clung to that thought and the fact that I'm hopelessly in love with him. The only people that know about it are Luna and Ollivander. I let it slip when I was visiting them. Actually, I'm not quite sure Ollivander knows. I think he was sleeping.

Luna had given me a smile and told me she was in love with Ginny. That had been the end of the conversation. She hadn't laughed or said it was impossible. She had just accepted me and I accepted her. 

Potter draws my attention back to him by handing me a vial. "You need to drink this."

"What is it for?" I frown, peering into the opaque bottle.

"Your heart is enlarged. I think it was the stress from seeing the snake, but it could have been an issue for awhile. You haven't been in for a check up for quite awhile. Not since the hospitalization last year." Potter pauses. His emerald eyes flick to my chest. "This potion should prevent it from getting worse."

I feel sick. The atrial fibrillation got worse? How was that possible? I take my potion every day! I exercise! I eat healthy! I do everything I am supposed to take care of my heart!

Potter is droning on about something. I can't hear him. My ears are filled with a loud buzzing.

"Shut up, scar face!" I shout, tangling my fingers into my hair.

Potter falls silent. The buzzing gets worse. My heart is pounding in my chest. I can't breathe. Potter touches my shoulder. I flinch, but he doesn't remove his hand. I hear him use the summoning charm and then a vial is pressed to my mouth. I swallow the potion automatically.

It takes a few moments to kick in, but soon my heart slows down and it's easier to breathe. Potter's hand is rubbing my back gently. I'm sure it's supposed to be comforting, but it just makes me more flustered. I slap off his hand, glaring.

"Don't touch me! I don't need your sympathy!"

"You know, for a guy with such a big heart, you sure are a dick," Potter mutters, conjuring a handkerchief.

A startled laugh spills out of my mouth. I don't know why I'm laughing, but now that I am, I can't stop. I hear Potter giggle. Actually giggle.

I glance up at him. His eyes are sparkling and his hand is covering his mouth. I wish it wasn't. I like his smile. He's never smiled at me before and I can't even enjoy it properly because his hand is in the way.

I look back down, my laughter dying. Potter's hand appears in my line of sight. He's holding the handkerchief. I take it in confusion, blinking up at Potter.

"It's for your..." he gestures to his own face.

I lift my hand to my face. It's wet. I didn't even notice I've been crying. In front of Harry Potter. I quickly wipe my face with handkerchief, my cheeks burning with humiliation.

"Listen, Malfoy... this can be controlled. You just have to take another potion in the morning and evening. If it gets any worse... well, there are ways to heal you."

"Like what?" I roll my eyes.

"Well, the last resort is series of complex spells. It's called _Cor Ejus_. It will transfigure your sick heart into a healthy one."

"Why haven't I heard of this before?" I narrow my eyes suspiciously.

"It's a dangerous procedure. It's also a last resort. Any kind of magic that involves transfiguration and organs is very risky."

"No, I'm not doing that ever."

"You probably won't need to. The potion should prevent it from getting any worse. Just make sure you avoid cholesterol and sugar. Exercise... er, but not strenuous exercise, of course."

"I already do all that, Potter. My diet was approved by another healer, as was my excercise routine."

"Do you drink caffeine?"

"No."

"That's good, then... do you still play Quidditch?" Potter sounds curious now.

"Not really. I don't socialize much. Luna and Pansy aren't interested in playing Quidditch and Ginny is too busy playing professionally to have time to practice with me."

"Oh. I see."

Is it just me, or did I hear a faint note of disappointment in his tone?

"What is your occupation?"

"How is this relevant?"

"I just want to make sure your work isn't too hard on your heart."

"It's not."

Potter rolls his eyes. "Fine. Just drink the potion.  If you need anything, say my name. Hermione will be taking over soon."

I'm about to protest because I don't want to deal with either of them, but Potter leaves in a huff. Good. I don't want to talk to him anymore. A small part of me wonders where my mother is, but I just down the potion Potter gave me. It tastes vile.

I lay back on the bed. I wish I had a book or something. I still don't know anything about the snake. Hell's spells. I don't even know how long I'll be stuck in here. Hopefully not long. I'll fall behind on work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses what Draco's profession is?
> 
> Also, the bit about dancing mania is true. There was a dancing epidemic that killed a lot of people. 
> 
> If you liked this chapter, please consider leaving a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter four. Enjoy! 
> 
> As always, thanks to Mejewskie for proofreading this and giving me your insight!
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

"Well, Malfoy is still an insufferable git."

Hermoine rolls her eyes at me, looking over his chart. "What were you expecting, Harry?"

"I don't know! Maybe a thank you for saving his arse again?!" I run my fingers through my hair irritably before taking off my lime green healer robes.

Thank magic my shift is over. Malfoy wasn't any trouble after his panic attack earlier, but there were a lot of other patients I had to attend to. Unfortunately, once most patients find out I'm their healer, they tend to call for me often. Some actually need me, but a few just want stare at me or shake my hand.

If Anthony and I ever marry, I'm taking his last name. Well... maybe. I do like my name, but it's so frustrating having all of the fame attached to it. Also, I'm not sure I'll ever want to marry him.

I definitely don't want to be thinking about this at work. It makes me uncomfortable because marriage or breaking up are the two endings for a relationship, right? I don't want either with him.

Hermione is right in front of me, changing into her own green robes. I could ask her.

"Harry, I doubt Malfoy is even aware of how many times you have saved him. Besides, it's your job to take care of him for as long as he's here. I'm sure he isn't that bad still."

I open my mouth to protest, but then I remember Malfoy laughing at my comment earlier. I've never seen him laughing like that because of me before. He hadn't seemed like such a git then. His grey eyes had twinkled with mirth and his white-blond hair had fallen in tangled knots around his face. That had actually been quite nice. I liked seeing him so open and ruffled. 

"Okay, maybe he's a little better. Not much. Just a tiny bit," I concede, sighing. "When is Ron getting here?"

"Oh, about an hour," Hermione murmurs, checking her watch. "George, Bill, Arthur, Molly, and Ron are taking it in shifts to guard Malfoy."

"Wait, seriously?"

"Ginny bullied them. Luna is upset by all this and you know how much they love each other. Ginny would be guarding him too, but she has quidditch... and Luna is keeping an eye on Malfoy's mother."

I still feel skeptical about the Weasleys guarding Malfoy of all people, but I don't have any more time to talk. Anthony will show up if I'm not home in ten minutes.

"Just don't let anything happen to him until Ron gets here. Narcissa and Luna will have our heads if something happens to him after we convinced her to go home."

I check my own watch and hurriedly kiss Hermione on the cheek before walking out of the changing rooms. I power walk down the two flights of stairs to the ground floor. I wave at the Welcome Witch, I think her name is Olive, as I pass her.

She waves back and gestures to the clock on the wall. I wince. Anthony has come here often demanding to see me. Every time the Welcome Witch has told him to wait and he became angry.

I rush out of the hospital and inhale the fresh air. At least, as fresh as London gets. I duck into a nearby alley and apparate to Anthony's doorstep just as he throws open the door.

Anthony looks a little vexed, but he smiles and pulls me into his house. As soon as the door closes behind me, Anthony presses his lips to mine.

He's shorter than I am, but he's stronger. He's always showing off by pushing me against walls or pinning me down. It's annoying, but I never protest. It's not worth rowing over. 

I kiss him back quickly before pulling away. "Anthony... I need to shower. Work was exhausting and I feel gross."

"You left me alone all day yesterday to hang out with Ginny," he murmurs, kissing my neck.

"It was her wedding, Anthony. She is married to Luna." I feel a row coming on, so I speak calmly.

"Hermione isn't... and you see her every day. It's natural for me to want you all to myself. After all, I love you so much."

I keep my face carefully blank. "I am with _you_. Not her." It's no use telling him Hermione is like my sister.

"I've told you this before, honey, but it's hard to trust a guy who likes both men and women. There's twice the chance you'll cheat on me." He smiles sweetly up at me. He tells me this at least once a week.

"I won't cheat on you." I duck out of his grip. "I'm going to go take a shower. Can you sort out dinner?"

"Yeah, yeah." He goes back to the living room. I can hear a football game playing on the telly.

I know he's not going to get dinner ready, so I go into the kitchen.

"Kreacher?" I say into the quiet.

There is a loud crack and the old house elf is suddenly standing before me.

"Yes, Master Harry?" Kreacher bows.

"Do you mind cleaning the kitchen and cooking dinner?" I ask, kneeling so we are eye level. Kreacher nods his head. "Thank you. Please, ask Anthony what he wants to eat."

Kreacher bows and leaves the kitchen. I watch him go. I miss living at my home. Sure, the portraits are annoying and I'm still finding traps and curses everywhere, but it's my home. Sirius left it to me.

* * *

 

I walk out of the bedroom, dressed in my pajama bottoms and one of Anthony's shirts. My hair is a mess like usual, but at least I'm clean. I have eleven hours until my next shift.

"Your hair is still wet," Anthony says, coming up behind me. He tugs on a lock of my hair.

"It's fine. It'll air dry soon enough."

I hate using magic to dry my hair. It always ends up more messy than usual. I just towel most of the water out usually. Since coming here, Anthony has been trying to get me to at least use a muggle hair dryer, but it takes up too much time.

Anthony looks ready to argue, so I walk away. Kreacher has made dinner and the kitchen is spotless. The house elf comes hurrying up to me.

"Mister Anthony demanded Kreacher make turtle soup, sir." Kreacher looks at me. He's trying to tell me something with his eyes.

"I haven't had turtle soup in awhile. Harry, have you tried it? It's so delicious." Anthony grins as he sits at the table.

"I haven't. I'm not a big fan of food that comes out of the water." I'll eat some seafood, but I don't particularly care for it. Kreacher knows that. "Besides, I like turtles. They're cute."

"Try it, I'm sure you'll like it. Turtles aren't that cute anyways."

I suppress a sigh. He won't stop until I try it. So, I sit down across from him and carefully taste the soup. I immediately spit it out. It reminds me too much of marsh water.

"That is so overdramatic," Anthony mutters, rolling his eyes.

"It's gross. I'm sorry, Kreacher, but this is the most disgusting thing you have made in years." I wipe my mouth, trying to get rid of the taste. "I prefer my turtles alive."

"Hey! That's my grandma's recipe!" Anthony is growing angry. For once, I don't care. All of my patience is gone. "It's just a stupid turtle!"

"Kreacher, let's go home." I stand abruptly. I'm prepared to apparate on the doorstep, but Kreacher takes my hand and apparates just as Anthony throws his bowl at me.

We land in the kitchen of our home. I sigh and sink into a chair. I've never told Anthony where I live, just in case the Order ever needs it again. It's still charmed to be a secret, but we cast a new fidelius charm. Now, Hermione is the secret keeper.

I am relieved. Anthony can't find me here. I'll make up with him later. For now, I am hungry and I need to sleep before my shift.

"Kreacher will make Master shepherd's pie and treacle tart." Kreacher bows again.

"Thank you. Kreacher, is... did something happen while I was in the shower?" I ask, watching him wearily as I summon a bottle of butterbeer.

Kreacher stays silent for so long, I wonder if he heard me. Just as I'm about to repeat myself, he answers me.

"Kreacher told Mister Anthony that Master Harry would not like turtle soup. Mister Anthony was very angry. He hit Kreacher with the knockback jinx," Kreacher says, not looking at me.

"He did _what_?!" I jump to my feet, anger coursing through me. 

Kreacher pushes me back into a chair. "Master Harry needs dinner and rest."

"I'm going to kill him," I growl. I am ready to break up with Anthony right now, loneliness be damned.

Kreacher goes back to the stove. "Master is going to eat and rest. Then, Master is going to work. Mister Anthony will not interfere with Master Harry's rest."

I am prepared to argue the matter further, but something shimmers in the air in front of me. A note drops to the table. It's from Anthony. I crumple the paper and toss it into the fireplace. I don't care what he has to say for himself.

I tell Kreacher I need to send an owl to work. He seems reluctant to trust me, but lets me go. That's fair. I am tempted to just go to Anthony's house and yell at him... but Kreacher is right. I'm going to need to rest before work. Especially if I'm dealing with Malfoy tomorrow.

I head upstairs and find my owl, Hermod, sleeping on his perch in my study. He is so lazy, but I love him. He's a cinnamon colored barn owl with big dark eyes.

I sit at my desk and pull out a quill, ink, and parchment. I write a letter to the head healer of my department, Elliot Sunborn, describing the circumstances with Anthony. I have no doubt that Anthony will try to reach me at work tomorrow. Especially because I'm not reading his notes. I ask Elliot to put some security around the lobby to escort him out if he does come. Then, I sign and seal the letter.

I prod Hermod awake. He hoots at me and stretches his wings sleepily. "I need you to bring this to Head Healer Elliot. Can you do that?"

Hermod holds out his leg. I tie the letter to it and give him an owl treat. "Fly safe."

Hermod flies out the open window. I watch him go until I can't see him anymore.

This whole relationship with Anthony is turning into such shit... but I can't see myself leaving him. I really don't want to be with him right now, but he's the only one who can put up with the publicity of dating me.

I sigh, raking my fingers through my hair. We'll work this out. I just need a few days to myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, please consider leaving a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 5! As always thanks to my special human for beta reading this chapter.
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

"What is he doing here?" I demand, pointing at Weasley.

Granger smiles professionally as Weasley throws himself into the armchair in the corner. "Ron is here to act as a guard."

"Why the hell would I need a guard? I didn't do anything wrong!" I can't believe this. I clench my hands.

"Calm down, princess!" Weasley snaps. "We are guarding you from whoever the hell conjured that snake!"

The anger I'm feeling is immediately replaced with confusion. I wasn't expecting that. Granger must be able to tell I don't understand because she explains.

"We think one of Voldemort's followers conjured the snake. They would have a reason to want to hurt you."

"Aren't they all dead or in Azkaban?" My voice cracks. I understand why death eaters would hate me. I betrayed them by tossing Potter a wand _at the very least._  Fuck. That is going to bite me in the ass. I don't regret it though.

"Well... a few were unaccounted for and some were released." Granger tilts her head. "Didn't you know that?"

I know. My own father is being released next month. So  really, this shouldn't surprise me. I guess I just never thought any of the other death eaters would care enough to come after me all these years later.

"What proof do you have?" I ask, swallowing down my fear. Then, another even more terrifying thought occurs to me. "Where is my mother?!"

My mother was a betrayer too. She told the Dark Lord that Potter was dead. If she is attacked, I don't know what I will do.

"Your mother is safe. We used the Fidelius charm on her place in France. Luna is the secret keeper. She's also staying with your mother to protect her." Granger glances at Weasley. "We don't have much proof. Just theories. The only thing we can think of is someone used the Imperius curse on Fleur Weasley."

I swallow again, forcing myself to stay in bed and not rush to France.  My mother is a powerful witch. She can take care of herself. I take deep breaths. I need to stay calm. She would kill me if I left the hospital without being discharged... and drag me back here. Which would put her out in the open.

"It was her?" I ask after a moment of steady breathing.

"Yes... her wand revealed that she conjured the snake." Granger shifts uncomfortably. "She has all the signs of having been under the Imperius curse."

"Did she tell you anything about who might have cursed her?"

"She said all she remembers is a man in a mask and black robes. He was average height and stocky... but she didn't recognize him."

I feel my body tense again. "Was it a death eater mask?"

"Yes... I don't know why they chose the reception to attack you though."

I do. I'm rarely in public. I usually stay in France and work. My home is well protected. It would be difficult to find me. Actually, besides my mother, Pansy, Luna, and Blaise, no one knows where I live. When I have to go anywhere, I travel by apparation or the floo network.

"They did it because they can't find my home. It's not like a disgraced death eater is welcome in public. I don't go out much."

Weasley opens his mouth, but Granger silences him with a look. "The point is, we're going to keep you safe."

"You guys hate me," I object.

"We don't hate you," Granger says.

"Speak for yourself," Weasley mutters, slouching in his chair.

Granger narrows her eyes at him until he offers a hasty apology. This isn't doing much to boost my confidence.

"Where is Potter?" I trust him to keep me safe at least.

"His shift doesn't start until ten."

Granger narrows her eyes, watching me. It's almost like she knows how I feel about him. I immediately close off my expression, donning the Malfoy mask.

"Are you telling me, I'm to be left alone with Weasel for the next eleven hours?" I ask suddenly.

"No, of course not. Molly will be here in four hours to relieve Ron." Granger smirks, looking quite happy about this.

I throw myself back onto the bed and pull the pillow over my head. I refuse to scream aloud, but at least Granger and Weasley can't see my look of dismay.

* * *

_"Draco... Draco... I have a surprise for you."_

_I open my eyes as terror floods me. I can't breathe. This isn't real. There's no way this is real. He is dead... but there the Dark Lord is, standing over me._

_Movement catches my eye. I look behind him. My father is lying in a pool of blood reaching towards me._

_"This is all your fault, Draco. I told you what would happen if you chose to stand against Lord Voldemort." His voice is so cold I feel like my insides are frozen._

_He steps aside and I see my mother, staring lifelessly. Her body is being swallowed by Nagini. I scream._

* * *

Someone is shaking me. I open my eyes and realize I'm still screaming. I cover my mouth, sitting up abruptly. My face is wet. Someone starts dabbing my face with a cloth.

"It's okay, dear," a motherly voice says soothingly.

I don't recognize her voice, but I am so horrified by my nightmare, I don't care. The comfort I feel as she hugs me is so intense, I start crying like a child. Her arms tighten around me.

At some point, the woman has me drink a potion that slows down my heart rate. It helps me breathe. The tears slow down.

"There, there. That's better."

The woman takes my face in her hands. She tilts my face up. It's Molly Weasley of all people. Of course it is. Granger told me she would be coming. I feel my cheeks heat and I look down so I can avoid her knowing gaze.

"No need to be shy now. Hermione told me you haven't eaten since the reception, so I made you some soup and bread." She smiles at me.

I open my mouth to question her sanity, but she conjures a tray, bowl, and mug in front of me. Then, she fills the bowl with soup from her wand. Tea fills the mug next. Mrs. Weasley doesn't give me time to speak. She takes a piece of warm buttered bread and puts it in my mouth.

The bread is delicious. It's filled with seeds, I think. I bite down on it and chew it slowly. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until now. Still, I know better than to eat too quickly after a panic attack.

Once I swallow, I look up at her. Despite everything my father has told me about the Weasleys, she is smiling at me kindly... and I am grateful to her.

I haven't had much contact with the Weasleys since the war. The only one who tried to approach me is Ginny. The others... well, I stay away from people who don't want me around. I've never had the chance to apologize for all of the cruelty of my youth. Then again... I don't think an apology would ever mean anything coming from me. So, instead, I focus on the gratitude.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," I mumble.

"Think nothing of it. Also, call me Molly." She smiles and gestures for me to eat. "I checked in with Luna while you were sleeping. She says your mother is doing well."

"Are Luna and Ginny alright?" I ask, feeling some of the tension drain out of me. I'm even more grateful now. I still want to run to my mother to make sure she's alright, but Molly's reassurance keeps me grounded.

"Yes. They're both determined to find out who attacked you." Molly runs her fingers through her hair. "Eat. You need nutrition."

I frown, suddenly remembering that Luna and Ginny should be getting ready for their honeymoon. They should be searching for Atlantis soon. For some reason, they both wanted to go hunting for winged hippocamps. Not exactly what I would think is romantic, but I guess searching for a lost city and mythical animals does sound fun.

Ginny had one more quidditch match after the reception. Really, she shouldn't have had a game then, but the Wimbourne Wasps were disqualified at the last minute, moving the Holyhead Harpies up to face the Montrose Magpies.  
  
I hate to think of how my heart must have caused her to be late and interrupted her and Luna's time together.

I'm pulled out of those thoughts when I feel Molly stand up beside me. Her fingers start to comb through my hair.

"Your hair is so long, dear." I hear her conjur a brush. "It's longer than Bill's."

"I like it long," I mumble after a moment. "I take better care of it usually."

"Oh, I know. I've seen you with Luna and Gin. You always look so refined and polished." She pats my shoulder. "Eat and I'll brush it for you. There are few greater comforts than having someone brush your hair."

I take another bite of bread. I will never say so aloud, but she's right. Ever since I was a child, I loved my hair being brushed. My mother used to stroke my hair to soothe me to sleep and whenever I cried.

My scalp tingles pleasantly as Molly brushes my hair. She's gentle with the knots. I find myself relaxing under her care. I'm not even aware that I finished the soup and bread until she asks me if I want more.

"No, but thank you for the offer." My mother instilled manners in me from a young age.

She hums discontently, but vanishes the tray and dishes.

Someone steps into the room just as Molly finishes tying my hair back. I look up, expecting to see Granger or a Weasley. I'm not prepared for Potter. I thought his shift wasn't supposed to start until ten.

Something looks off with him. Like he's upset about something. I want to ask him what it is, but I school my face into a neutral expression.

I'm not the only one who notices. Molly rushes to him and cups his face in her hands. "Harry! Did you sleep at all? Did you have another row?"

"Not now, Molly," Potter murmurs, "I'm working."

"You weren't supposed to come in for hours, dear," she continues fretting.

"I'm fine. Promise." He smiles and steps around her.

I glance at the clock. It's four in the morning. He's here six hours early. I study his face, not hiding the fact that I'm doing so. He has bags under his green eyes and he's pale.

"Go back home," I order.

Potter blinks, pausing midstep to stare at me. "What?"

"You heard me. I don't want to be treated by someone who is incompetent." I fold my arms.

"We had this discussion last night." He sighs and raises his wand.

"This time I'm serious. You look ready to fall over." I manage to keep the concern out of my voice.

Molly's staring at me too. I can't tell if it's  apprehension or amusement I see on her face. In any case, she's biting her lip and fretting.

I return my focus to Potter. He looks like a confused fish with his mouth hanging open. Maybe I hadn't kept my concern hidden as well as I thought.

"Malfoy, just let me do the damn diagnostic spells."

"No. Get Granger to do them. You might end up turning my hair blue." I raise my hand as if to block his magic. I'm partly joking, but I am serious.

Potter looks exasperated. "I need to do my job."

"Not yet. You still have five hours. If you insist on staying here, I demand you use the armchair and take a nap." I glare at him stubbornly.

Across the room, Molly starts laughing. "I can see you have this well in hand. I'll leave him to you. I need to go check on Fleur and Victoire. Make sure Harry gets some rest."

She leaves without another word, still giggling. I hold back a grin and get out of bed. Potter raises his hand like he's about to push me back into bed, but I grab it and start dragging him.

"Malfoy!" Potter tries to dig his heels in, but he's too tired to fight me.

As soon as we reach the armchair, I make him sit in it. "Sleep."

I grab his wand and conjure a blanket and pillow. I'm surprised his wand responds to me, but I don't question it right now. I shove the pillow behind his head as the blanket settles over him.

"What... what are you doing?" Potter asks, gaping at me.

"I am making sure my healer isn't an incompetent buffoon when he is treating me," I retort, bringing his wand back to my bed. "Stay there or I'll hex you."

"There's the Malfoy I know," he mutters, slouching in the armchair. "Give me back my wand."

"I will once you've napped." I shrug, climbing back into bed.

"You have got to be kidding me." Potter tries glaring, but it's lost in his exhaustion.

I curl up under my blanket, ignoring him. We stay in a weird awkward silence for a few moments, but then he speaks again.

"Malfoy, there's something weird about your heart condition. Atrial fibrillation is a muggle condition. We can cure muggle illnesses easily."

"I know, Potter." I roll my eyes.

"So... this isn't something I've ever heard of. We only see cases like this as a side effect from magic. When did your condition start? All your chart says is five years ago."

I give him a dirty look. I don't talk about that. I _hate_ talking about it. "None of your business."

"Malfoy, I'm your healer. It is my business." He pauses, running his fingers through his already messy hair. "You can trust me."

I bite back an insult. I know he's right. I just really don't like talking about the Dark Lord or the time he spent living in my home.

"It was during the war," I finally mutter, curling in on myself. Potter keeps watching me with those sleep deprived eyes, so I continue. "When the Dark Lord was living in my home. Seventh year at Hogwarts."

"Did... did anything occur during that time that might have caused strain on your body?" He is talking gently, as if trying to coax an injured animal to come to him.

I swallow. I can't bring myself to talk about this. Not with him. Not now. "No. Nothing whatsoever. Shut up and go to sleep."

To my surprise, there is silence. I glance at Potter and he's watching me through half-lidded eyes. He yawns.

"You know... I always thought you were a selfish arrogant prat..." he mumbles.

"Wow, keep wooing me with those sweet words." I roll my eyes. I am a selfish arrogant prat. I don't need him telling me that.

"I wasn't finished. I still think you're a prat... but you're actually not a bad person. You've grown up... and I like this version of you a lot better than.." he trails off.

I blink and look over at him. He's sleeping. Thank all the gods. I would rather drink one of Longbottom's potions than let Potter see me now. My face is so hot, I'm sure I'm blushing like mad.

Harry Potter just said he likes me. Well... at least a bit. Fuck. I think I might actually swoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, drop a comment. I love it when people say hi.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter. Thanks to my special person for beta reading ♡ 
> 
> Happy pride month everyone!!!
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

When I wake up, it's because Hermione is shaking my shoulder. There is a moment when I don't know where I am, but it fades quickly. I remember Malfoy manhandling me into the chair and ordering me to sleep.

That had been... weird. It was stranger even than when I had first stopped by his room. He had been crying for his mother while Molly held him. It's really hard for me to associate crying with Malfoy... and then he was polite to Molly when he declined her offer of food? Like... really polite.  
  
I'm starting to think I don't know Malfoy as well as I thought I did... or maybe Luna was right and Malfoy is a different person now. I don't really know... but this new side of him is tugging at my curiosity.

"Harry, your shift starts in ten minutes," Hermione murmurs in my ear.

I fix my glasses and stand up stretching. I feel a lot more refreshed than I should after napping in an armchair... with someone I used to consider a threat in the same room. "Yeah, okay."

I walk to Malfoy's bed. He's sleeping in the fetal position. My wand is in his hand. I gently slip it out of his limp hold and start running through the diagnostic spells as Hermione catches me up on the night shift's patients in a low whisper.

"Finally, Rosenbush is responding to treatment. They will be ready to go home as soon they stop sneezing sparks," she finishes. "Malfoy's heart is doing better as well. He should be ready to leave this evening."

I nod, watching Malfoy for a moment. He is all sharp lines and angles... but sleeping restfully... well, he looks soft. I really want to tell Hermione about everything Malfoy did before I fell asleep, but there's no time now.

"When is Arthur coming?" I ask as we walk out of the room.

"He should be here any minute. Also, you're going to have a difficult time with George. He was acting as guard while you were sleeping." Hermione grins. "He was laughing in the hall for a good ten minutes."

"I can handle George. It's Anthony I am worried about." Hermione shoots me a sharp look, so I continue. "We rowed last night. I am fairly certain he's still cross with me because I insulted his grandma's turtle soup recipe... and I'm quite livid myself. He hit Kreacher with the knockback jinx when he tried to tell him I wouldn't like turtle soup."

Hermione's hand flies to her mouth as she gasps. Then, she straightens her back. "Harry, he is bloody awful! Why do you insist on staying with him?! He's the absolute worst!"

"Worse than Malfoy?" I ask, trying to deflect her anger with a joke.

Hermione shoots me a withering look. "Yes, worse than Malfoy! At least Malfoy isn't abusing you or Kreacher. I don't think he would want to either! I would like it infinitely more if you were dating him!"

"Hermione, all he did when we were in school was be a dick to us." I stare at her, wondering if she has gone mad. "Plus, I'm fairly sure he is straight." 

"Harry, Malfoy grew up. He's not the same person anymore." She rolls her eyes. "You need to let go of that school boy grudge if you're going to be treating him."

"Fascinating though your personal life is, shouldn't you two be working?" Elliot, the head healer on our floor, shows up out of nowhere.

"Sorry," I say automatically. "Did you get my letter?"

"Yes. Luke is watching for Anthony in the lobby. He will remove him if he shows up here." Elliot checks his clipboard. "You really need to do something about him. He can't keep turning up here like this. I hesitate to ban him from the premises... but I might have to if he keeps disrupting the place."

"I understand." I've always worried about Anthony being banned. If he actually ever needs the hospital... then again, he is a tosser and there is a hospital in Ireland.

"There won't be too many more twelve hour shifts. There are few transfers coming in." Elliot consults his clipboard. "In fact, we have a transfer starting tomorrow. Aoife McHale is coming from Brigantia Hospital. Ireland has a different way of doing things, so it is to be expected she'll need time adjusting."

"We'll help her if she needs it," Hermione says, relieved. "Who else is transferring?"

"Julianna Cardinal from Artifact Accidents will be starting on Wednesday. The other transfer is a kid from Germany. He just completed his training. His name is Klaus Brandt. He starts in two weeks."

This is excellent news. It's only been us and one other healer, Astolpho, for the last six months. It will be great having three new people on our floor to share the workload.

"Harry, you need to get more rest outside of work. Astolpho will be covering half of your shift today. They will be here at four. I fully expect you to _go home_ and rest. No other stops." Elliot gives me a knowing look. 

I catch his meaning. He doesn't want me to go to Anthony's. I can handle that. I don't want to see him anyways. I might hex him.

* * *

 "I know you're supposed to go straight home, but can you bring Malfoy home first?" Hermione looks frazzled. I'm fairly certain there is baby spit up on her cheek.

"Helping Fleur with Victoire?" I ask, grinning at her head in the fire. "Why does Malfoy need an escort?"

"Yes. It really does take a village to raise a baby." She doesn't look too put out by it. Honestly, I think Hermoine is a super human or something. She works, helps with Victoire, and manages to be in a healthy relationship with Ron all at once. "Narcissa is insisting someone go with him. Parkinson has disappeared and everyone else is busy."

I frown faintly, but I am curious. Malfoy is so quiet about everything. I feel like I need to figure out his secrets. Just like sixth year... but this time, I don't think he's a villain. I want to know how he lives, what he does for fun, if he lives alone.... I'm sure he's living in some posh place. He's probably a potions master or something. Why am I so curious about this?

"Harry?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I can go with him. I'm sure Elliot won't care about that." I rub the back of my neck.

Hermione gives me a strange look. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, looking like she wants to say something. Finally, she says, "Send me an owl if anything goes wrong... and Harry?"

"Mm?"

"Be careful with Anthony if you see him. I don't trust him."

I hold back a sigh. "I will. Don't worry about him."

Hermione frowns, but leaves the fireplace. I have ten more minutes on my break left, but I'm feeling restless. I decide to check in on my patients early.

* * *

 I save Malfoy's room for last. As curious as I am about him, it's pretty obvious he still dislikes me. Why else would he constantly be spitting acid at me?

Actually, I don't think that's a good metaphor. I had an old man come in last week who had a virus that literally caused him to spit acid. It was a nightmare. One of my Weasley jumpers was ruined.

I let myself into Malfoy's room. He's sitting with his back to George, arms folded. George is grinning. He sees me and winks.

"Malfoy, your boyfriend is here," he sings.

The way George says it makes me splutter. "I- what?"

Malfoy's jaw works. I can see a blush rising on his face. "Will you shut up?"

Then, I remember Hermione telling me that George had seen me sleeping in Malfoy's room... hell, he probably saw Malfoy holding my wand.

I know from experience the easiest and fastest way to get George to stop teasing is to roll with it. He delights in people reacting to him. Which is fine, but Malfoy is my patient. I don't think he needs to be teased right now.

"Malfoy and me?" I say, grinning at George. "Well, he is fit. Maybe."

George blinks, clearly not expecting me to run with this joke. Malfoy whips his head toward me, his mouth falling open. That is hilarious. I've never seen Malfoy look so shocked. I can't help it. I flash him a grin and wink. He looks even more surprised.

"Gotta kick you out, mate. I need to work and patient confidentiality is a thing." I shoo George, who still looks a bit confused, out into the hallway.

I know George too well to trust him not to eavesdrop. I cast a repelling charm to keep away any extendable ears. Then, I cast _muffliato_. I turn to Malfoy, still grinning with amusement.

"Aren't you straight?" he asks, looking puzzled.

"What gave you that idea?" I'm not really paying attention. I'm focusing on the diagnostic spells I'm going through.

"Didn't you date Ginny and Chang?"

"Yes. I'm bi." My quill starts writing down his vitals. I'm relieved to see that Malfoy is doing much better. He really will be ready to go home in a few hours.

Malfoy is staring up at me, his cheeks pink. I'm not really sure what to make of it, so I chalk it up to George teasing him. It would be ridiculous to think I brought the blush to his face. Then, I remember what I just told him.

"You are seriously bisexual?" he asks slowly.

I hold back a sigh, expecting more biphobia or maybe homophobia. "Problem?"

"None at all."

To my surprise, the blush on his cheeks deepens slightly. I can see the smallest of smiles on his lips. It doesn't look like a malicious smile either. It almost looks shy. There is no way Draco Malfoy is shy. I change the subject.

"You'll be able to go home tonight. I'm escorting you when my shift ends."

"The Chosen One is escorting me home?" Malfoy tilts his head, looking up at me through pale lashes.

My heart skips a beat as I meet his grey eyes. I don't know why. Sure, Malfoy _is_ fit. I've known that since third year when the wanker grabbed my broom while we were playing quidditch. I think I have a thing for quidditch players... but my heart has never reacted to his good looks before. This is still Malfoy. I don't like him. At all.

"Yes. Your mother is worried." I shrug, tearing my eyes away from his. "She wants me to bring you to her place."

"I need to go to my home first," he says. "I have to get my supplies for work."

Once again, curiosity hits me. What does Malfoy do in his free time? What does he do for work? Potion Master is sounding more likely now if he has supplies at home.

"That's fine. We can stop off there and I'll bring you to your mother after. I'll go send George back in."

"I would rather you didn't," he mutters under his breath.

I find myself laughing. "Don't worry. He'll behave. Just to let you know, if you run with his teasing, he'll stop more quickly."

Malfoy still looks apprehensive as I remove the charms I placed on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 7! Thanks to Mejewskie for beta reading!
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

My head is still reeling as I open the door to my cottage, letting Potter inside. I used side-along apparition to get us both here. We had to hold hands. Okay, we probably didn't have to hold hands, but I wanted to, even just for a moment. Potter had dropped my hand fairly quickly as he looked around.

He seemed surprised. I guess he was expecting grandeur, but I hadn't wanted that when I moved out. I had chosen a large piece of land in South France. There are plenty of trees around my small home. All different kinds. I need them to work with.

Potter follows me in. He hasn't said anything yet. It's unnerving. I look at him. He is gaping like a fish again. I guess I can't blame him. My cottage is nothing like Malfoy Manor.

I designed my home myself with the help of Pansy and Luna. The bottom floor is completely open. It's spacious with big windows to let the light in and the colors are all light. The walls are painted with pastels swirling around each other.

Pansy nearly fainted when she came over after Ginny and Luna painted them, but she got over the chaotic walls fast. It was amusing to watch Pansy demand a simplistic furniture design now that the walls were screaming at her.

There is a staircase in the back of the cottage, winding around a corner. It leads to a loft. That's where my bedroom and bathroom are.

The whole purpose of this cottage was to be the opposite of Malfoy Manor. There is no grandeur. There are no dark themes. It's all simplistic and bright. It's probably the only reason I can handle sleeping here. I don't sleep well anywhere else.

Minty, my house elf, comes rushing up to me from the kitchen. I kneel down as she does a curtsey. "Minty, how are things here?"

"Fine, sir. The bees are doing well. I harvested more wood for you." She looks up at me with pale green eyes.

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you. Have there been any suspicious people lurking around?"

"No one, sir." Minty sets her jaw and looks at me fiercely. "Sir, you should take better care of yourself. I know you were in the hospital."

My lips twitch as Minty scolds me. She takes good care of me. I love her. "Sorry. I'll be more careful in the future."

Her face softens. "What happened, sir?"

"I had an attack at the reception." My voice grows quiet. "It was a snake. We think someone... a death eater... conjured it."

Minty's eyes widen. "Sir, why-?"

"I don't know yet. Minty, if you see anyone suspicious, I want you to go to my mother's immediately. Don't worry about anything else. That's an order."

I would tell her to go now, but Minty hates the chateau. It reminds her of Malfoy Manor. That's why I brought her here with me.

Minty looks scared, so I hug her. She trembles in my arms. "Understood, sir."

She looks over my shoulder and whispers, "who is that, sir?"

Potter hears her despite her whispering. I feel him step closer to us. Then, he crouches next to me. "I'm Harry Potter, Malfoy's healer."

Minty stills in my arms. She looks at Potter with wide eyes. "I am Minty, sir. I am Draco's house elf."

"He's acting as an escort right now, Minty. I'm just here to collect work materials and check on you and the hives. Mother wants me to stay with her for a little while." I let Minty go.

She gives Potter a curtsey. "I am relieved, sir. No one will harm Draco if you're protecting him."

I feel heat rise to my cheeks. I need to get a grip on myself. Malfoys do not blush. This is the third time I've blushed today. Potter is making me stupidly flustered... especially now that I know he is bisexual.

I'm not a fool. I know Potter will never have feelings for me. Still... he called me fit and winked at me. I wonder how much of that was him 'rolling with Weasley's joke'.

Probably all of it.

"I'll keep him safe." Potter smiles kindly at Minty. "I give you my word."

"Thank you, Mr. Potter." Minty smiles.

"You don't talk like other house elves I met." Potter looks curious.

"Draco prefers me to not call him master, sir." Minty glances at me. "He likes when I speak like a human."

"I told her to drop the 'sir' too, but we compromised." I shrug.

Minty used to speak in third person and make a lot of words plural. It reminded me of Dobby. I felt guilty at the time because I saw Aunt Bella's knife pierce Dobby's chest as he rescued Potter. I know he died that day. Luna told me.

Potter looks at me like he's never seen me before. I break eye contact and stand up. I need to gather my things. I hear Minty offering Potter tea as I walk out the back door. There's a workshop almost the size of the cottage back here.

I let myself in and conjure a suitcase. I have an expansion charm on it. I start gathering my equipment. Wood of all kinds, feathers, hairs, heartstrings, tools, books... I start going through a mental checklist.

"What is this?"

I hadn't heard Potter come in. I spin on my heel. "It's my workshop."

"What do you do?" He sounds genuinely curious.

I'm tempted to snap at him, but I crush the impulse. "I'm a wandmaker."

Potter's eyebrows shoot up. Clearly, he wasn't expecting that. Wandworking is a difficult and precise branch of magic. Not many people our age are up to it anymore. The subject fascinates me though.

"I studied under Ollivander before he passed away. Luna sells the wands I make." I look away from him.

"I thought she sold her art?" Potter tilts his head.

"She sells both."

"What got you interested in wandwork?"

I am glad I turned away from him. I start packing dried herbs. "The war. You took my wand.. and it worked for you. Then, you told the Dark Lord about allegiances changing with wands. I was curious. Ollivander wanted an apprentice. It fit."

I take a minute to calm myself. My face feels hot. When I am ready, I face Potter. I close the suitcase and hand it to him. He accepts it, his emerald eyes boring into my face.

"I didn't think," he starts to say.

"That is obvious, Potter," I quip.

He rolls his eyes. I shoot him a smirk and brush passed him. "If you're going to follow me, you'll want to cast a protective charm on yourself."

"Why?" he asks, deterred from his train of thought.

"You don't want to get hurt. You're new. They might think of you as a threat." I pull out my wand and cast a protective charm on him. I developed this charm myself. " _Protego Apis_."

Potter looks apprehensive, but I find it amusing. If he wasn't paying attention to Minty and I talking about bees, that's his problem.

"Where are we going?" Potter asks, following me.

"You'll see."

I lead him through a thicket of trees. He is clearly having misgivings, but the trail is short. Soon, we're standing in a large clearing. There are wildflowers everywhere. Directly ahead are several   house-like hives. Luna painted them a long time ago. They look like little cabins.

I walk over to the first one. The sun is setting. The bees will be sleeping now. I didn't bother to cast the protection charm on myself. My bees know my scent and they like me.

Potter watches me as I check on all the beehives. Minty has been taking good care of them. I can tell she harvested their honey recently. The bees are a bit disgruntled from being woken up, but a few come out and land on my hand.

I let them lick my palm. The first time a bee licked me, it startled me. Now, I know they smell something sweet on my skin. It's probably the apple I ate with dinner.

"You keep bees?"

I glance at Potter. He has that look on his face again, like me beekeeping has shaken his world view. I roll my eyes. "Very observant."

Potter looks hesitant, but he slowly inches forward. The bees don't touch him. My spell is acting as a barrier between them. He stares incredulously at the bees in my hand.

It's getting late, so I gently lower my hand into the last hive. The bees try being stubborn. They haven't seen me in a few days. I guess it's natural for them to cling to me.

"Go on, get back in your hive. Time to sleep," I say, carefully brushing them off one by one.

When I'm finally free of the little ones, I turn to Potter. "We can get going now. This lot will be fine until I come back."

"Uh... you missed one." Potter steps closer to me and lifts his hand.

I fight the urge to back away. A hive is right behind me. I don't want to disturb them more. Potter furrows his eyebrows in concentration as his fingers brush my cheek. My heart stutters before kicking up its pace.

When he pulls his hand back, there is a little worker bee on his tan finger. The bee flies off it and lands on the hive. Honestly, I'm amazed that he touched one. The spell should have made the bees shy away from him. The bee didn't seem to mind him too much though.

His eyes are locked onto mine. I can still feel where his hand touched my cheek. Maybe if I was braver, I would try kissing him. I'm not brave. I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor. I was a Slytherin. Slytherins are more interested in self preservation than courage.

Potter would probably kill me if I tried kissing him. 

He's still staring at me. His hand is between our faces. He touches my cheek again. I can barely breathe. It must be my imagination because it looks like he is about to kiss me. His eyes keep darting from my eyes to my lips.

I've never kissed anyone before. I was always only interested in Potter. Pansy and Blaise tried to drunk kiss me once. At the same time. They bonked heads like idiots. I still like to tease them with that one.

Potter looks like he's made a decision. He's leaning closer to me. His hand is cradling my cheek. I can't believe it. I'm too scared to move. I don't want to risk him stopping.

There are only a few inches separating us when Potter yelps and steps back, his hand flying to the back of his neck.

"I think one of your bees just stung me." He winces.

I stare at him, holding back laughter. "Let me heal it."

I see a bumblebee buzzing around us. It looks upset. I wonder what Potter did that offended it so much it fought through my spell. I cast a charm on the bumblebee to calm it down. Then, I heal his sting with a spell. Potter stops muttering curses.

"Feel better?" I ask, amusement in my voice.

"Yeah..." he's looking at me strangely again.

In the sunset, it almost seems like Potter is blushing. He certainly appears uncomfortable. He keeps rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his weight.

He probably realizes what a mistake he almost made. If he was about to kiss me. I honestly don't know. I can't decided if I would rather he had been trying to kiss me or not.

Nothing good could ever come from Potter liking me. The press would have a field day. They would ruin his public image. Imagine... the wizarding world's Chosen One dating a death eater. Potter would never hear the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡
> 
> [ Fictional made the fanart for this chapter! Check out their other art here!](Fictional.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta for proofreading this. 
> 
> As you guys can see, I figured out about how many chapters this fic will be. I may be off a few, but that's my rough estimate. 
> 
> Also, heavy thanks to noxsoulmate for letting me bounce ideas off her and helping me with a major plot point in this story. I'm going to be thanking her again when I reach the chapter she helped with. ♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

I have no clue what I was thinking. I'm dating Anthony even if we are in a row. I'm not a cheater.

Malfoy had looked so beautiful in the light of the setting sun. Then, that bee had landed on his cheek.

My body moved before I could think. I let the bee climb onto my finger. Malfoy's skin was soft under my touch. I wanted to touch him again. Being with him in that clearing, surrounded by wildflowers, trees, and bees, felt like we were the only two people in the world.

He didn't shy away from my touch either. He looked like he had wanted it just as much as I did. I guess Malfoy isn't as straight as I had assumed.

I wanted to kiss him more than anything in that moment. I wanted to see if his lips were as soft as his cheek. I wanted to pull him against me as I tasted his mouth.

Thank magic that bee stung me when it did.

After I showed Malfoy the note from Luna with his mother's address, I brought him there. I watched as Luna and Narcissa hugged him. Then, I had said goodbye and left.

I have too much to think about right now. I need advice. Malfoy completely shattered the mental image I had of him tonight.

* * *

Hermione and Ron look startled when I come out of their fireplace. I don't blame them. I didn't give them any warning.

"Is something wrong?" Hermione asks alarmed.

"A bit. Not at the hospital," I add quickly.

A bit of tension leaves her shoulders, but Ron is folding his arms.

"Did Malfoy give you trouble?"

"Well, yeah, but not the way you're thinking," I answer, starting to pace.

I find myself unable to speak. It's so hard to voice what just happened. I rake my fingers through my hair. Ron looks flabbergasted. Hermione, though, has a small, almost imperceptible, smile tugging on her lips.

"What?" I ask her, narrowing my eyes.

"Tell us what happened," she deflects.

"I..." I hesitate, swallowing roughly.

"Relax, mate, it's not like you slept with him," Ron jokes.

I feel myself blanch. I can't tell Ron. He hates Malfoy. How would he react if he knew I almost kissed him?

Hermione smacks Ron's arm and glares at him. "Ronald!"

"What?" Ron rubs his arm, looking confused.

"I didn't sleep with him," I say, my voice sounding hollow.

Maybe I should go to Anthony. I owe him something for almost kissing Malfoy... don't I?

"Harry, it wouldn't matter to us if you did sleep with him or anything." Hermione is still glaring at Ron.

"Of course it wouldn't." Ron puts his hands up in surrender. "Not like Harry would though. He's not an idiot."

Hermione gives him a dark look.

I don't know what kind of expression I'm wearing. I feel lost. I keep thinking about the gentle way Malfoy treated his house elf and his bees. That smile he gave me as he healed me.. the way the sun shone in his hair... even his grey eyes felt warm for those few moments.

Luna has told me before that Malfoy has changed. Even Ginny has. Tonight... I finally saw it for myself. I finally had the opportunity to meet this new Draco Malfoy... and I like him. I like him a lot.

Ron stands up and says something about making us a late dinner. I think Hermione told him to leave. She takes my arm and steers me into her home office.

"Harry... did something happen with Malfoy?" she asks, sitting on a leather sofa.

"Yes," I say.

I find myself telling her everything. I tell her about Malfoy being nice to Molly, about when he made me take a nap, about him blushing when I told him I'm bisexual, and about Minty. Hermione listens quietly as I tell her everything.

"Then, he led me into this clearing. There were beehives and he checked on them... and a bee landed on his cheek. So, I guided the bee onto my finger and it flew off. Malfoy's skin was so soft, I touched him again. I almost kissed him!" I finish, burying my face in my hands.

"What's so wrong with that? It sounds like you like him." Hermione tugs me down to sit next to her.

"Hermione, I'm still dating Anthony even if we are fighting," I mutter.

"Break it off with him and ask Malfoy out."

I look at her, my mouth falling open. "We're talking about Malfoy. You saw the way Ron acted just now, yes?"

"Ron is an idiot when it comes to feelings. Harry, he will support you if you go out with Malfoy." She rubs my back soothingly. "It sounds like he might like you back. What's the harm in trying?"

I force myself to close my mouth. I look at my feet. "That's just it though. Malfoy may have changed, but we're still... we have only treated each other as enemies. It's a huge gamble to throw away what I have with Anthony on the chance something might work with Malfoy. Besides... Malfoy lives in seclusion. He wouldn't want to be all over the press for dating me."

Ron cuts off whatever Hermione is about to say. "Dinner is just about ready," he says, poking his head through the door.

Hermione stands up. She pulls Ron into the room and gives him a meaningful look. "I'll finish the cooking. Ron. You promised."

Ron looks uncomfortable as Hermione disappears through the door. Silence falls.

"What is that promise?" I ask, breaking it.

Ron rubs the back of his neck and sits on the floor in front of me. "Harry... I don't think Anthony is the right person for you."

I feel my chin pull back. Ron is sitting with his hands braced on his crossed legs. He looks as uncomfortable as I feel.

"Anthony is fine. I'm sure this is just a phase. He was perfectly good to me when we first started dating." I look at a spot over Ron's shoulder.

"He's abusing you, mate."

"He's never hit me," I object, frowning.

"Not all abuse is physical. You know that. The Dursl-"

"Anthony is nothing like them," I cut him off, not wanting to hear the rest. "The Dursleys neglected me. They were set on punishing me for being a wizard."

"Anthony is punishing you, too. He's punishing you for being bi, for having friends... and for having a life outside of him."

Ron tries to catch my eye, but I look down at the floor. I really don't want to hear this.

"Can't we have a manly bond of silence?" I try to joke.

He reaches out and puts a hand on my knee. "When would that have ever worked for us?"

"Ron, everyone is pairing up. You guys are all getting married. All of my friends are. I... I don't want to be alone." My voice cracks.

"Harry... you're never alone. Our whole family loves you. You're like a brother to me."

"You don't understand. My whole childhood I was alone. I never had affection. I never had anyone. Making friends and a family at Hogwarts was brilliant... but then I lost people. I lost Sirius. I lost Remus. I lost Dumbledore." I swallow. "Anthony isn't great, but isn't he better than lonely nights at my house?"

My throat feels scratchy and my face is hot. Tears are blurring my vision. I quickly wipe the tears away. I feel Ron's hand squeeze my leg.

"I can't say I understand how you're feeling. I never dealt with any of that.. but being with someone just to feel less alone... that's not fair to you or him. Anthony is tearing you away from your family. He's making you miserable. He's abusing Kreacher. Don't you owe it to yourself and us to break it off with him?"

I swallow again, trying to clear the lump in my throat. I force myself to stop thinking 'no' and consider what Ron is saying.

I find myself thinking back on my relationship with Anthony. At first, he was perfectly gentlemanly. It started out with little things. He would give me the silent treatment after I went out with Ron and George for drinks. He started refusing to touch me if he smelled perfume on me or if I forgot to wash my plate after dinner.

More recently, he's gotten louder. He'll yell and interrupt me often. Once he punched the wall next to my head when I came home late. Then, he apologized and told me it was my fault for making him wait.

All of that... and now he's hurt Kreacher and threw a bowl of soup at me.

Morgana... Ron is right. I need to break up with Anthony.

* * *

When I stumble into the kitchen, Kreacher is right there, sweeping.

"Master Harry." Kreacher croaks, bowing.

"Sorry. I got soot everywhere," I mutter, fixing my glasses.

Kreacher sweeps it up as I sink into a chair. I bury my face in my hands.

"Is something wrong, sir?" Kreacher asks, shuffling over to me with a butterbeer.

"I'm going to break up with Anthony," I say monotonously.

"If Kreacher may speak openly, Master Harry?" I gesture for him to go on. "Kreacher thinks that would be for the best. Mister Anthony is cruel to Master Harry."

Kreacher bows his head. I feel like an idiot. Even Kreacher could see what I didn't want to. "You're right... Ron talked sense into me earlier. I was so desperate for companionship that I let him get away with too much."

"Master Harry, Mister Anthony will not be the only one who will want to stick around." Kreacher pats my arm.

There's a soft pop and the butterbeer is replaced with a firewhiskey. I smile a little and down the drink. "Speaking of, I almost kissed Draco Malfoy tonight."

Kreacher blinks up at me. He looks at a loss for words. I have a feeling he's wondering if he should voice approval or not. Malfoy is part Black after all.

"If Master Draco makes Master Harry happy, Kreacher thinks it is a good match." Kreacher bows.

I raise my eyebrow, but a smile is tugging at my lips. "You know, he has a house elf too. Minty. He was actually really kind to her. I thought... from the way Dobby behaved.. that Malfoy would have been a jerk to them."

"Master Draco wasn't the one being cruel to house elves, sir. Master Draco treated us with indifference."

He doesn't have to say who abused Dobby. Which reminds me to ask myself, what the bloody hell I'm thinking. Lucius Malfoy is still Malfoy's father. His parents would probably hex me for trying to kiss their son. Lucius Malfoy fucking hates me.

"He is so different to how I remember him..." I murmur, slumping in my chair.

"People change, sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 9! Thanks to my sister and S.O. for beta reading. ♡♡♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

"Are you ready to talk?" Luna raises an eyebrow at me as we start taking off our clothes.

I should have known she would ask before we were even in the water. To be honest, I'm a bit eager to get this all off my chest where my mother can't hear me. She knows I'm gay, but she doesn't know anything about how attracted I am to Potter.

"Wait until we are in the water," I say, casting a charm to prevent sunburn on us.

I cast the impervious charm on our eyes as well. There is no charm to help with speaking underwater, but we manage to hold conversations well enough with the bubble head charm. We just need to speak louder because the water absorbs our voices.

Luna wrinkles her nose at me. She's wearing a muggle swimsuit. It looks like a dress. There are strange creatures all over the fabric. I think Luna called them pokemon. She's enchanted them to chase each other all over the dress.

I'm wearing a muggle swimsuit as well, but it's much more bland. It's just white.

Luna takes my hand and drags me to the edge of the sea. I think we're in Crete somewhere. Luna loves the Mediterranean sea. The sand is fine and bleached white. The sea is a beautiful clear blue.

She casts the bubble head charm on us and stows her wand down her suit. I follow her into the warm water. Silvery fish scatter as we wade farther out.

Once we are deep enough, we slip under the surface. We swim deeper until there are a few meters of water between us and the surface. We let ourselves sink to the sand and start stretching.

"When Potter brought me home... I checked on the bees. He followed me to them. I cast my charm on him," I start.

"I'm sure you did," Luna interrupts, a serene smile on her face.

My mouth falls open. She sits in the sand, her hair flowing around her. "Luna! When have I ever openly flirted with him at all?"

"Well, you did tease him constantly. My father says boys do that when they don't know how to flirt." She shrugs, stretching her arms in front of her. "I knew you liked him for years before you told me."

I open my mouth to protest, but she's right. I scoff and resume stretching my body. "I cast my bee repelling charm on him," I clarify.

"Mm," Luna hums, getting into our first yoga position.

"He touched one of them though... it was on my cheek." I follow her movements, making sure my breaths are deep and even. "He held my cheek."

"What happened?"

I hesitate, wondering if I imagined him almost kissing me. "I'm not sure. He seemed to be leaning in to... kiss me. I'm probably wrong."

"I doubt that. Harry has been attracted to you for as long as I've known him," Luna says dreamily.

I lose my position. I fall face first into the sand. I sit up, rubbing sand off. It floats away in the water. Luna is  watching me with amusement in her eyes.

"Potter is not attracted to me," I object, narrowing my eyes.

"He is if the way he always watches you is any indication. He was staring at you when we were dancing... he was always staring at you in school too." She smiles. "You should have seen him when the attack occurred."

I blink, swallowing roughly. "What... what did he do?"

"He spoke in parseltongue for the first time since the war. Ginny said he didn't even know he could still speak it after Voldemort's soul was killed, but he ordered that snake away from you. He kept promising Mother that he would keep you safe."

Luna folds herself into something like a human pretzel. She is much more flexible than I am. It takes me a few moments to get in that position even in the water. On land, yoga is more difficult. Here in the water, the natural buoyancy and weightlessness helps me get into the positions Luna taught me. It's why we practice in the sea.

I really love being underwater like this. It feels secluded. There's no one here to judge me. The marine life is interesting to watch as well.

Once, we went to Australia. I was helping Luna search for a gulping plimply.

Actually, I think it was Luna's way of getting me out of my cottage. It was right after I was released from Azkaban. She absolutely demanded my help searching once I was healed. I guess she wanted me to go because I was so depressed.

While we were there, Luna brought me to the Great Barrier Reef. That was my first time underwater like that. I felt peaceful for the first time since the Dark Lord returned.

Of course, Luna noticed. She's made it a point to bring me to a sea or ocean three times a week since. At first, we just watched the marine life. We explored reefs and swam with turtles and dolphins.

We started yoga after. Luna read about meditation and yoga helping with.. well, she calls it post traumatic stress disorder. She says she thinks I have that from the war and Dark Lord.

Yoga on land was frustrating for me. I couldn't bend my body the way Luna could. Eventually, Luna suggested we try yoga underwater, where I was already calm and wouldn't have gravity working against me.

I have to admit, it's helped me a lot. I always sleep better after yoga. It's also helped me with mild panic attacks. I can usually breathe through them.

I consider what Luna said. Potter promised to protect me... and did so when he ordered the snake away. It makes my heart flutter nervously, but it doesn't convince me.

"Potter is the embodiment of good. He wouldn't just let me die. His conscience wouldn't allow it." I try to sound indifferent, but Luna sees right through me.

"Harry does have a strong moral compass... but that doesn't explain why he's always watching you. I think he's going beyond just his duty. Though... he might not realize it himself yet." She taps her chin in thought.

I stare at her. I'm not sure what to make of that. Luna unfolds her body and moves to me. She starts guiding my limbs into new positions.

"This is a new pose I found. I think the muggles call it bound side raven?"

I grunt as my leg ends up behind my head. She guides my hands down to the ocean floor. "Balance your body on your hands and lift your leg like this."

She demonstrates the position. Her chest is parallel with the sand. She almost looks like she's doing a push up, but her hips are twisted to the right. Her right leg is behind her shoulders. Her left leg is suspended in the water below her right thigh. I have no idea how any muggle could fight gravity on land in that position. Luna is holding herself up with only her hands.

At least she helped me pull my leg behind my shoulder. I have doubts about my ability to get into this pose. It seems needlessly complex. Still, I give it my best shot.

It takes a few tries and Luna's help, but eventually I get it. I carefully breathe through the burn in my muscles as they're stretched in a new way. Luna claps when I release the position, disturbing the water in front of her.

"You've become very flexible. I'm sure you and Harry will have fun with that at some point." She smiles innocently and winks.

"Luna..."

"Draco. I know Harry. He's oblivious to a lot of things, but I can tell he likes you." She folds her legs in the lotus position. "Time for meditation."

I glare at her. It's going to be impossible to clear my mind now. Still, I sink into position as well. There's a basking shark not far from us. I look away from it.

Luna is staring at me expectantly. I roll my eyes, but try to meditate. Unfortunately, the only thing my mind wants to focus on is Potter. It's so annoying. I wish I could hate him, but its impossible.

I take a deep breath. I try to focus on the water. The way it cools my body. The fine sand against my skin. It's a little rough. It reminds me of Potter's calloused fingers. Fuck. I can't get him out of my head.

I stand up abruptly. Luna blinks, her blue eyes watching me curiously.

"I can't meditate right now. I can't think of anything besides Potter. Luna... I need to see him. I have to know if he really was trying to kiss me." I run my fingers through my hair irritably.

"That's understandable." She stands. "Harry is probably home. I'll send him an owl."

We kick off the sandy floor and start swimming to shore. I swim faster than I usually do. I need to see him. I want to know if I really do have a chance with Potter.

"When did you become a messenger?"

"Well, Harry's home is under the fidelius charm. I'm not sure your owl can reach him."

That makes sense.

"How are you and Ginny doing?" I need to change the topic before my nerves cause another episode with my heart. It's already beating faster than it should.

"Well. She purposely lost her last match so she could spend more time with me. If they had won, she would have had to stay for the next match." Luna hums. "We are going to go on our honeymoon as soon we find who is trying to hurt you."

"You guys should go now. I'll be fine."

We break the surface of the water and the bubbles around our mouths pop. I take a deep breath of the salty air as we wade the rest of the way to shore.

"Draco, I don't want to leave you alone. It's not safe." Luna pulls out her wand and dries us off.

I hold back a sigh and start pulling on my clothes and shoes. "I promise I won't go anywhere a death eater might find me."

Luna looks hesitant as she dresses herself. "Maybe... but I'm still worried about you."

I'm about to try reassuring her, but I see someone in the distance. My blood runs cold. I pull Luna behind me as the voice speaks.

" _Crucio!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people say hi! ♡♡♡♡♡


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an early update. I went to Pride during this weekend and I guess it really got my creative juices flowing (even if I am burnt out). I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Thanks to my partner for beta reading!
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

It's been a week since I decided to break up with Anthony, but I still haven't done it. I've tried. I keep telling him we need to talk, but he always comes up with a way to avoid it. It's driving me mad.

I want to get to know Malfoy better. I want to see if there is a possibility of us being a thing. I want to know him.... but I also want to be broken up with Anthony first. I don't want Anthony to get in the way of anything that might happen between Malfoy and me.

The thought of liking Malfoy is still confusing. I'm still worried about Ron's reaction to it... and I don't think Malfoy will appreciate the newspapers being all over him for dating me.

After thinking about it all week, I've decided that it's his choice. If Malfoy wants to deal with fame and he wants to be with me, then I'll be happy to be with him. I think. I thought I would be happy with Anthony too... but Malfoy isn't Anthony.

I run my fingers through my hair. I promised myself I wouldn't see Malfoy  again until I broke up with Anthony... and I am growing desperate to see him.

I step out of my home. I need to break up with Anthony today. I'm done with him. I am done with the abuse and manipulation.

Then... I'll go to the chateau and talk to Malfoy.

* * *

"Harry, I don't have time to talk right now," Anthony snaps, polishing the handle of his Silver Arrow.

Anthony plays quidditch, but only in a local team. He's a beater, but he's not very good. In fact, he sucks. 

"I think you probably have time for a quick conversation," I say, folding my arms.

He shoots me a dirty look. "If you keep going on like this, I won't cuddle you or sleep with you for a month. I have a game tonight."

"That's just it. I don't _want_ you to touch me ever again! It's over between us! I'm sick of you abusing me! I'm sick of you treating Kreacher like shit!" I exploded, my temper finally getting the better of me.

To my surprise, Anthony starts laughing. "Oh, love, I haven't abused you. You're just imagining things. I think you're so used to people fighting with you, that you need to see it in me."

I stare at him, starting to doubt myself. _Do_ I need to see abuse in what Anthony does? _Am_ I that used to it?

I remember Ron, Hermione, Ginny... all of my friends and family telling me the same thing. That Anthony is abusing me. They wouldn't lie to me.

Malfoy's face surfaces in my memory. I let myself remember how he made me feel as he laughed and healed my sting. I remember how he gripped my hand when we apparated to his cottage. I remember how he made sure I slept after I had a fight with Anthony. Malfoy has treated me with more kindness and compassion than my boyfriend ever has.

Even if Malfoy doesn't want to be with me... I still would rather be alone than be with Anthony now. I guess I don't need romantic companionship. I have my friends and family. I have love. If Malfoy does want to be with me, that will just be a bonus.

I am never going to lose myself in someone else again. I'm never going to allow myself or Kreacher to be mistreated again.

"To be honest, I don't give a damn if I am imagining it. You jinxed Kreacher. I don't love you. I don't want anything to do with you."

Anthony stands, setting his broom aside, and steps towards me. At first, I think he's going to hit me, but he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.

"He's just a house elf, Harry. You don't mean all that. You're special to me." He tries to kiss me, but I turn my head.

"No. Let go of me," I hiss, grabbing his hand. "I don't want to see you ever again."

There's a crack and someone opens the front door. I spin away from Anthony and look at the person stumbling in. It's Luna.

Her hair is in disarray and she looks panicked. "Harry! Thank the goddess! I tried looking for you everywhere else!"

I run to her, wrapping my arm around her waist. "Luna, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Draco! He was attacked! Cruciatus! Cardiac arrest!" she shrieks. "We need you! St. Mungos!"

I grip her tighter. "We're going there now."

Anthony grabs my arm. "This isn't over."

"Yes, it is."  I push him away from me and turn on my heel, disapparating with Luna. 

* * *

When I rush into Malfoy's room, he's sitting propped up in Blaise Zabini's arms.

Malfoy looks weaker than I've ever seen him. He's so pale it scares me. Blood is trickling out of the corner of his mouth. It seems like he's barely hanging onto consciousness.

I force myself to walk forward, taking my wand out of my sleeve. I carefully start the diagnostic spells, my quill taking notes beside me. 

He bit his tongue badly, which is where the blood is coming from. His body is sore from the curse. His heart though... it's grown worse. It's barely performing.

I cast a healing charm on his tongue and body before summoning a potion that I hope will help him.

"What is going on, Potter?" Zabini demands.

I glance up at him, noticing the way Malfoy seems even paler against Zabini's dark skin. I hold up a finger to him. I'll answer his questions later.

I take Draco's face in my hands, brushing off the blood with my thumb. I'm shaking, but I hide it. I'm so angry.

"Who is responsible for this, Draco?" I ask, barely managing to keep my voice calm.

I want to torture them. Scream at them. Lock them away in Azkaban. Something!

Draco's half lidded eyes find mine. He looks so tired. He shakes his head slowly. I take a deep breath. I need to stay calm. I need to be a healer.

I tip the potion into his mouth, just remembering it now. Draco swallows it all. His face smooths out a bit. He stops clutching at Zabini's arm.

"Potter..." he mumbles, grabbing my hand.

I'm violating so many health codes right now. I shouldn't be touching blood with my bare hands. I shouldn't be so close to Draco. I shouldn't be leaning down.

I am anyways.

I press my lips to his forehead. When I pull back, Draco's tired eyes are staring up at me. His face is faintly pink.

"I'm going to heal you. I'm going to help you," I say quietly, feeling for his pulse on his neck.

His heart is beating at a more normal rhythm now. He's still watching me. His hand tightens on mine.

"Harry... is Luna okay?" he rasps.

"I'm fine." Luna steps closer to us.

I forgot she was here with how worried I was about him.

"What happened?" Draco mumbles.

"A death eater... they cast the Cruciatus curse on you. I couldn't see who it was." Luna frowns faintly. "I cast a bat bogey hex on them, but they disapparated before I could do anything else."

"What the fuck? Why is a death eater after Draco? Why is his heart all fucked up? When the hell did Potter start kissing him?" Zabini demands, his arms tightening around Draco.

Luna and Draco share a look. She takes Zabini's hand. "Let's go and get some tea, okay? I'll catch you up on everything that has been happening while you've been in Australia."

Zabini looks dubious, but after Draco weakly shoves him, he gets up and follows Luna out of the room. I take his place on the bed beside Draco, helping him to sit up.  He leans against me.

"How are you feeling?" I ask him, my anger fading with him in my arms.

"Tired... but better. Blaise said a woman named McHale saved me from cardiac arrest... and you kissed me?" He sounds so unsure of himself.

"I did." I brush his hair out of his face.

He smells like the sea. I wonder if it's his shampoo. His head falls to rest against my shoulder.

"I must be dreaming then. It's a good dream though... I like it." Draco looks up at me from under his pale lashes.

"Why would it be a dream?"

"You don't like me... even if you did... I would only damage your reputation. I'm no good for you or anyone. Death eaters don't get happy endings." Draco yawns. "Don't wake me up just yet... please?"

I stare at him, feeling my heart ache. Has he been living with that weight on him this whole time? It's been five years since the war, but it seems like it just happened yesterday with the guilt written plainly on Draco's face.

"You're not a death eater," I say, hugging him closer to me.

Draco reaches down and pulls up his sleeve. The dark mark is there, faded. It's surrounded by flowers. I have no idea what they are, but they're beautiful. The mark is almost hidden by them.

"You fought against him, Draco. You saved my life during the war. You're not a death eater." I raise his arm up to my mouth and kiss the mark.

Draco's mouth is hanging open when I turn my head to look at him. He is definitely blushing now. I want to kiss him, but he needs rest... and I don't want our first kiss to be while he thinks he's dreaming.

"You're using my first name..." he mumbles after a moment.

"I am... because I like you. A lot. You used my first name too." I press my face into his hair, inhaling the salty scent.

He doesn't answer. I check on him and find he's sleeping. That's good. He should rest until tomorrow at least.

I press one last kiss to his forehead, unable to help myself. I gently lower him until he's laying on the bed and cover him with a blanket.

There's something wrong with his condition. I'm certain of it. It can't just be a muggle illness. I think it's a curse. Good thing the Black library is full of books on curses.

"Kreacher?"

My house elf appears with a crack. "Yes, Master Harry?"

"I need you to do me a big favor, Kreacher. I need all the books on curses you can find. Ones that can cause issues like heart problems. Do you think there's a book like that at home?"

Kreacher looks thoughtful and bows. "Kreacher recalls a few books with such curses. Mistress Bellatrix was interested in them."

"Perfect. Can you bring them here?"

Kreacher nods and disappears with another crack. I'm glad I don't actually have a shift today. I can focus exclusively on researching Draco's heart condition all day.

Once Draco is healed, I'm going to find whoever did this to him. I'll make them regret ever hurting him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, please consider leaving a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my beta. Sorry for the long chapter. This one kind of ran away from me.
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

_"Draco... I like you. I like you a lot."_

_Harry reaches out to me, cupping my face in his hands. I look around us. We're not in the hospital. We're standing on a beach. I've been here before._

_We're in Puerto Rico. Luna brought me here once for yoga. The waves have little dots glowing in them at night. The muggles have an explanation for it, but they're wrong. The glowing is caused by rare breed of water nymphs.  Their eggs float along the surface of the ocean._

_It's dark now. The eggs are glowing in little clusters, making the ocean look like it's own galaxy._

_"You're a million miles away, aren't you?" Harry asks, drawing my attention back to him._

_"This isn't real. I'm dreaming." I tilt my head. "It's a really good dream though. Usually, I just have nightmares."_

_Harry runs his thumb along my cheekbone. He's smiling warmly. "Maybe it is a dream. That doesn't mean it's not real right now. This is our reality. This our moment."_

_"In case you have forgotten, chosen one, I'm a disgraced death eater." I reach up and pinch his cheek. "I'm not getting a happy ending. I'm not getting a happy now either."_

_"Are you a death eater though?" Harry asks, sounding a little amused._

_I roll my eyes and take a step back, pulling up my sleeve to show him the mark. Harry looks at it for a moment. Then, he smiles. He raises my arm to his mouth and kisses the mark._

_"I don't see the dark mark," he says matter-of-factly._

_I'm about to snap at him, but when I look down, there is no mark. Just lilies and daffodils where it used to be._

_"What... where did it go?"_

_"I told you. This is our moment. Our reality. This is who you really are, Draco." Harry wraps an arm around my waist, drawing me closer to him. "You're not a death eater. You were a kid trying to survive."_

_"I still made the wrong choices."_

_"Yeah, you did. I'm grateful for those choices you made though. If you hadn't made them, there's a good chance we would both be dead." Harry shrugs. "We wouldn't be here right now."_

_"We're only here in my head. The real you doesn't know this happening."_

_"You know... someone once told me that just because it's happening in your head, it doesn't make it any less real."_

_"Whoever told you that must be mad," I retort._

_"You're probably right." Harry laughs, tucking my hair behind my ear._

_I stare at him, starting to feel a bit puzzled. How would my subconscious know that someone told Harry that?_

_"Hey, can I ask you something?" Harry asks._

_I bite back a sarcastic remark and just nod._

_"Why did my wand work so easily for you when you forced me to sleep? You're a wandmaker... do you have any theories?"_

_I did look into that while I was at my mother's. I was curious. Harry used my wand easily before too. I wanted to know if it had something do with our wands switching allegiances._

_"The most likely theory is that our souls are connected somehow or our magic is extremely compatible. Winning the alliance of the wand is one way to use another's wand... but we both can use the others, so I think it's more likely that we're connected or we are compatible magically speaking." I say, shifting my weight uncomfortably._

_"Your wand did feel natural to me when I stole it." Harry looks thoughtful. "So are you saying we're soulmates?"_

_"No... that's a muggle concept.  Wizards call it **anima** **iunctio**. It's like... our magic is intertwined."_

_"We're soulmates." Harry starts laughing._

_It's such a beautiful sound, I never want him to stop._

_"Why are you laughing?"_

_"Everything is starting to make sense now." Harry  leans up and rubs our noses together._

_"Are you going to explain that or just keep being cryptic?" I roll my eyes._

_"Mm... no."_

_Harry slips his fingers into my hair. My heart skips a beat. It's just like when we were with my bees. He's going to kiss me._

_My heart leaps to my throat and I stumble backwards. Harry stops me from tripping and raises an amused eyebrow at me._

_"It's okay if you're not ready for kissing. Dance with me instead." He starts walking backward into the glowing water._

_I follow him automatically. "This feels more like swimming. There's not even music."_

_Harry looks thoughtful for a moment. "Alright. Music."_

_A song starts to play with no discernible source. It seems to come from everywhere._

_"Our reality, remember?" Harry grins, pulling me close to him once again._

_"What song is this?" I ask, my hands settling nervously on his hips._

_"It's a song by David Bowie. I **think** he is a muggle. He might not be though. His music is certainly magical." Harry slips his arms around my shoulders._

_We're dancing much more slowly than the tempo of the song calls for. The water is sloshing around our ankles, stirring the glowing blue eggs around us._

_" **If you say run, I'll run with you... And if you say hide, we'll hide. Because my love for you would break my heart in two... If you should fall into my arms and tremble like a flower..."**_

_I swallow nervously. This seems a lot more intimate than any situation I've ever been in... and it's with Harry: the one person I've ever loved like this._

_"Harry... I want to do this in the real world... I want to come here with you. I want to dance with you to this song," I murmur. "I want... this."_

_Harry's eyes seem to shine brighter. His jaw tenses. "Draco, I swear to you, I'm going to heal you. I'll catch whoever is trying to hurt you. Then, I'll go with you wherever you want. We can dance. We can go flying. We can play quidditch. We can t-"_

* * *

"What is wrong with my son?!"

I jerk awake, sitting up quickly. There is a soft thud to my left. Potter is on his feet, looking like he just woke up. A book is on the floor.

"Mr. Malfoy, your son needs rest. You barging in here is not going to heal him," a woman with a heavy Irish accent says firmly.

The voices are coming from the hallway. I'm still fighting off drowsiness. I'm pretty sure I didn't hear that correctly. My father isn't supposed to come home for a few more weeks. Still, his voice rings out.

"Explain why my son is here!"

"Your dad is still the same as always," Potter mutters, shaking his head.

He summons a potion and hands it to me. I drink it automatically.

"He should still be in prison," I say, scrubbing my hands over my face.

"I'll be right back." Potter runs his fingers through my hair before leaving my room.

"Are you seriously dating Harry Potter?"

I whip my head around, feeling my cheeks color. Blaise is relaxing in an armchair. I throw a pillow at him.

"Of course not. He's my healer." I glare at him. "Shut the fuck up before my father hears that."

"Your dad still doesn't know you're gay?" Blaise blinks his dark eyes at me.

"There hasn't really been an opportunity to tell him. You know, considering he's been in prison for five years?" My voice is dripping with sarcasm.

Blaise comes over to me, sitting on the bed by my hip. "You should tell him now. He can't be mad at you while you're dying, right?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Truth be told, I don't think my father will care that I'm gay. I am fairly certain he would have a heart attack if he knew I'm in love with Potter.

Maybe it's time to come clean to Blaise and Pansy? Especially considering Potter almost kissed me. 

"I'm going to tell you something. You can't tell my parents or say a word about it to Pansy yet."

"Not like I would tell your parents anything anyways." Blaise shrugs. "Go on."

"I'm not worried about my father finding out I'm gay. I'm worried because I don't want him to find out who I'm in love with," I mutter.

Blaise is really fucking smart. It only takes him a handful of seconds to understand.

"Wait! Seriously?! How long?!"

"Sh!" I glare at him, putting my hand over his mouth. "I don't know. I think almost since we met."

Blaise pulls my hand away and stares at me. "Wow, Goyle is a really lucky guy."

" _WHAT?!_ " I splutter, but Blaise is already laughing.

"I'm joking, princess."

I take another pillow from behind me and hit him over the head with it.

"No roughhousing," Potter says, walking back in the room with my father trailing behind him.

"I wasn't roughhousing. That was a playful slap that escalated beyond my control." I smirk at Blaise.

There's something off about my father. I can't place it. He is thinner than I remember. His eyes are sunken in. That's normal for someone who spent five years with dementors.

My father runs to me, wrapping me in his arms. It's weird. My father isn't an affectionate person.  I hug him back anyways. He's probably lonely from being in Azkaban for so long.

"Draco. Your heart. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did." I stare at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Did my letters never reach you?"

Father looks surprised. "They must not have. They aren't very reliable at delivering letters to prisoners. No matter. Potter has explained everything to me."

Blaise wraps an arm around me. "Hullo, Lucius. I'm dating your son."

There's a moment of stunned silence. I stare at Blaise. He winks at me and leans in so quickly, I don't have a chance to react.

Blaise kisses me. I'm not sure if it's a good kiss. I know Blaise has a lot of experience in this area, but it just feels wet and warm to me.

I elbow Blaise hard in the ribs and he breaks the kiss to clutch at his side.

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." I glare at him.

Potter looks mildly upset, but he doesn't say anything. I nervously turn my gaze to my father. At least he doesn't look mad. He just seems shocked.

"Blaise and I aren't dating," I say, folding my arms.

Blaise puts his hand over his heart dramatically. "I see how it is. Keep breaking my heart."

"Zabini, stop stressing out my patient."

Blaise fakes a look of betrayal. "I'll just go then."

"I didn't say-"

"No, it's fine. I need to find Pansy. She's gone missing." Blaise winks and struts out.

I'm feeling very tired suddenly. I also feel like I need to brush my teeth. I have no idea where Blaise's mouth has been.

"I need a shower," I announce, getting to my feet.

* * *

When I come out of the shower, feeling much more refreshed, the only person in my room is Potter. He sitting beside my bed, reading a book.

"Where's my father?"

"He went to the manor. Something about wanting to go home and freshen up. Luna is at the chateau taking care of your mother with Ginny. " He sets the book aside.

I sit down on the bed, facing him. "Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?"

"Nope. I don't have a shift today."

"Why...?"

"I was worried about you." He shrugs. "We need to talk."

I frown at him apprehensively. "About what?"

"Draco, do you remember what I told you about _Cor Ejus_?"

I swallow nervously. "Isn't that a _last_ resort?"

"It is. We're running out of options." He takes my hand in his.

I think he's trying to comfort me. I feel numb and vaguely sick.

"No." I shake my head, shrinking back into the bed.

To my surprise, Potter tugs on my hand. He pulls me forward, straight into his arms. I end up in his lap. I'm too stunned that Harry Potter is embracing me to struggle. His fingers are in my hair, pressing my face into his neck.

Why is everyone being so touchy with me today?

"It's going to be alright," he murmurs. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. There's still a little time."

I feel myself tremble. The idea of someone transfiguring my heart is terrifying. I absolutely do not want it to come to that. What if it goes wrong? What if I die? I _really_ don't want to die.

Potter is murmuring in my ear. He's telling me I'll be okay. I don't feel okay... but here in Potter's arms, I feel a little better. He's hugging me tightly. It's like he's keeping me from falling to pieces.

I carefully wrap my arms around his shoulders. I'm half expecting him to push me off him, but he just strokes my hair. This feels surreal.

"How bad is my heart?"

"It's barely functioning. Magic and potions are keeping you alive. Another attack could be fatal." He hesitates. "There's more."

"What is it?" I feel sick with dread. I lift my head to meet his worried green eyes.

"I think it's a curse. There are some curses that can affect a person's health. I need to know what happened to you during the war, Draco. I need to know what triggered the curse in order to break it."

The instinct to recoil and hide myself in the bathroom is almost unbearable. I think he can tell, because he presses my face back into his neck.

"I don't want to think about it."

"We can take it slowly. Tell me what you can handle. We'll work our way to the harder stuff," Potter suggests, resting his cheek on the top of my head.

I want to shove him away from me, but the feeling of being held like this stops me. I've never felt so safe.

I consider not answering, but I know from experience just how persistent this man is. He'll keep asking until I tell him... and I trust him.

"The Dark Lord spent a lot of time torturing me," I force out.  "Every small mistake was met with Cruciatus curse. He kept threatening to kill my parents and make me watch."

I take a deep breath. Now that I've started talking about it, the words come easier. I've never explicitly talked about what happened before. It's almost a relief to finally say it.

"He would send Nagini to me. The snake would lay on top of me while I was sleeping. I would wake up to her hissing in my face. She tried to bite me whenever I was off guard... or if I was doing something without permission, she would... kind of loom behind my parents. The Dark Lord told her to kill them if I stepped out of line."

I pause, forcing myself to take deep breaths. I need to stay calm. Potter starts rocking me. I want to snap that I'm not a child, but I don't. It feels kind of nice.

"When I was at Hogwarts, the Carrows kept an eye on me. They reported every move I made to the Dark Lord. If I was caught talking to or associating with anyone who might be connected to the Order, they tortured me. It was hell. Every break I would go home and wonder if my parents were still alive. A few times, the Dark Lord or other death eaters tortured me all day long if they were in a bad mood. The only comfort I had was sneaking to the cellar to spend time with Luna."

I open my mouth to say more, but my voice fails me. Instead a broken sob escapes my throat. Harry holds me tightly as I cry into his neck. I can feel him shaking too.

"You were very brave, Draco. I'm proud of you," he murmurs.

I feel his lips brush my temple. Harry just... kissed me? I look up, still crying. I can see a blush rising against his tan skin.

He cups my face in his hands and runs his thumbs under my eyes. More tears fall. I hiccup. Harry keeps brushing them away until I finally stop crying.

"You're going to be okay. I promise."

"You can't promise that." I shake my head, wiping my face with my sleeve.

"Yes, I can. Move in with me until we find out who is trying to hurt you. My house is protected under the fidelius charm."

My mouth falls open. Harry's eyes flick down to my lips, but he doesn't lean in like he did when we were at my cottage. He seems to be waiting for something.

"I can't." I feel a lump in my throat and try swallowing. 

If Harry is right and this is a curse, I need to research it. There's only one place I know of stocked heavily with books on the dark arts.

"Draco, please, think about this. You'll be safe at my house. I can protect you. I'll be on hand if there's an emergency." Harry brushes my hair behind my ear.

"Why are you so set on protecting me? And when did you start using my given name?" I ask, deflecting his concern. "Why are you being so... affectionate?"

"I thought I answered this last night," Harry mutters as the blush on his cheeks deepens.

I raise an eyebrow and gesture for him to go on. He seems to be struggling to speak. Instead of words, a small frustrated noise comes out of his mouth.

Harry leans forward and my heart skips a beat. I think he's about to kiss me. He does, but not where I wanted him to. His lips find the corner of my mouth.

"I like you, Draco. That's why I'm using your given name. I want to get to know you better," he murmurs.

I hate myself in that moment because even though Harry just kissed me so close to my mouth and said he likes me, I still doubt myself. I still can't believe that it's happening. I want to reach out to him and kiss him, but the fear of being wrong... the fear of being rejected is strong.

"You... you want to be friends then?" I ask carefully.

"Sure. We can start with friendship." Harry smiles a little. "Eventually, if you want to be more... we can take that step then."

"More?" I swallow and start fidgeting with my fingers.

I know I'm probably making him think I'm thick, but I have had feelings for this man since we were kids. If I'm misreading the situation, I don't want to embarrass myself with presumptions.

Harry tilts his head, making his messy black hair fall over his eyes. "I mean... if you like me, too, we can start dating when you're ready for it."

"You... want to date me. Harry Potter, the wizarding world's Chosen One, wants to date a disgraced death eater?" I shake my head in disbelief. "What would your adoring fans think about that?"

"To be honest, I really don't care. I like you. The press can say what they want to, so long as we're happy." Harry shrugs. 

I stay quiet for a moment, trying to process what he is saying. It's difficult to wrap my mind around. He's watching me, giving me time to think. I don't want to think anymore.

I take Harry's face in my hands. His eyelashes flutter, but he keeps his eyes on mine. Fuck it. If he's serious, I'm just going to do it.

I shift slightly in his lap to face him better. As I lean in, I see his eyes dilate. His hands move down to my hips.

"Draco..." he breathes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, please considering leaving a comment. I love it when people say hi.
> 
> The song was Let's Dance by David Bowie ♡♡♡


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this chapter. It's been a busy week and then I was sick. Thanks to my beta for proofreading! ♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

Draco's breath is cool against my lips. He's so close to me, I can see little flecks of green in the gray of his eyes. He pauses just before our lips touch.

At first, I think it's to build the suspense, but then I really look at him.

He looks scared. I trail my fingers up his chest to rest my hand against the side of his throat. His pulse is beating more irregularly than it should be given the circumstances.

"It's okay, Draco. We can take our time," I murmur.

"I've been wanting..." he trails off. "I've liked you for years. I think since we met. Hasn't that been enough time?"

That surprises me. I always thought Draco hated me in school. I can think about that later. My priority is the man in my arms here and now.

"It is more than enough time, but this, right here? This is new to both of us. We've never been romantic or intimate. So it's okay to go slow." I smile at him, trying to reassure him.

Draco does the cutest thing I've ever seen him do. He pouts at me. Merlin... I have to stop myself from kissing the pout off his lips.

"But... I want..." His cheeks color. "I don't want to be friends first."

As hard as I try, I can't stop a small laugh from escaping me. His face scrunches up. I can't help it; I kiss his nose.

"Draco Malfoy... will you be my boyfriend?" I ask, winking at him.

"Are you serious?"

"Completely."

He hesitates for so long, I start growing nervous. I'm worried he'll say no.

"Harry... have you thought this through? You're my healer. I might die soon. I'm a dis-"

"I swear if you say you're a disgraced death eater again..." I cut him off.

"I am!"

"You're not. Draco, you're not a death eater. Please stop talking like that. The war was five years ago. You did everything you could to stay alive." I stare up at him stubbornly.

"How can you be so calm about it? I almost got you killed!"

"You saved my life," I point out. " _I_ nearly killed _you_ with that curse in sixth year. I forgive your past. I forgive you for everything you did while you were a kid."

"But-"

"The past isn't your future unless you want to live there, Draco. Voldemort has taken enough from us, don't you think? Let's not let him ruin our future together too."

Draco flinches, but he doesn't break eye contact with me. He's trembling. I'm worried I scared him off, but he drops his head to my shoulder.

"Easier said than done," he mumbles. "The past doesn't want to let go of me. I can't just... forget it happened."

"That's normal, I think. Trauma... abuse... those things are hard to let go of.  They're hard to heal from. That doesn't mean it's impossible though." I certainly haven't completely healed from the war or even from the Dursley's treatment.

Draco presses his face into my throat. I think he's crying again. I wouldn't blame him if he is. I think he only told me the bare minimum of what he experienced.

"I was scared to talk about it before," he mumbles.

"Why?" I run my fingers through his hair.

"I didn't... I didn't want to see pity in your eyes. I thought... you would think less of me. That I'm weak. That I'm not your equal. I didn't want you to see how big of mess I am."

He's definitely crying now. I can feel the shuddering gasps of his breath against my skin. It breaks my heart.

"You're not any of those things. You're not weak. You're not a mess. You're hurting. Honestly, I think you are strong. You wake up every day and face those hurts. That's it's own kind of bravery."

Draco scoffs, but his arms tighten around my shoulders. I hold him.

"If you want me there, I'll stay by your side and help you heal those hurts," I tell him after a moment of silence.

"How? You can't just cast a spell, Harry."

I technically could. I could erase his memory or modify it until all of those scars Voldemort left are gone. I'm not going to. I don't think that is a healthy way to cope with this.

"I can't fix this for you... but I can empower you so you can heal yourself."

Draco lifts his head. He seems mildly exasperated. "And how are you planning on doing that?"

"I have a couple ideas." I grin. Exasperated is an improvement from hopeless in my book.

"You're still my healer. Isn't there some law about healers dating their patients?"

"Your position on whether or not we should date seems to be quite contradictory," I point out, trying not to smile.

"It is not! I want to date you, but I don't want you to get in trouble!"

Morgana... he is so cute when he's flustered.

"Fair point... then, I'll just ask you out when you're healed." I raise my eyebrows.

I understand his hesitation. This whole week has been a huge change for us. It's normal to be conflicted and confused in situations like this. I know that I certainly feel a little weird. I just broke up with Anthony today. I don't really want to rush into this.

"Promise?" Draco asks in a small voice.

"I promise."

Draco still looks lost. I give him time to think. I'm perfectly content to play with his silvery blond hair as I wait. His hair feels like silk as it slips through my fingers.

I'm not expecting it when he moves suddenly. His face fills my vision as his lips press against mine awkwardly. The shock only lasts a moment. I cup his jaw in my hand and move my lips tenderly against his.

Kissing Draco doesn't make me see fireworks. It's not like a movie or a book. It's not even like how some songs describe kissing.

Kissing Draco reminds me of sunshine on a spring day. It feels like warmth and light is filling me.

His lips are soft and taste oddly like lavender and mint. I wonder briefly what toothpaste he uses. His lips part a little under mine and I stop thinking about toothpaste.

I brush my tongue over his lower lip. He trembles in my arms. I can feel his pulse hammering against my hand, so I break the kiss.

His eyes remain closed for a moment, looking like he doesn't want it to be over. I don't either. I have to prioritize his health though.

He slowly blinks, his eyes meeting mine. "That... that was really different."

"Uh..." I'm not sure if that's a compliment. "Compared to what?"

"Kissing Blaise." Draco looks thoughtful. "Maybe it's because I didn't want to kiss him."

"Was that your first kiss?"

Draco's ears turn pink. That's answer enough for me.

"I was pretty jealous when he kissed you earlier," I confess.

"You shouldn't be. Blaise is a hussy." Draco rolls his eyes. "He's always kissing or fucking someone."

"Fair enough... I still wanted to be the one kissing you though."

Draco's head falls to my shoulder again. "Don't just say things like that. It makes me want to kiss you again."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes because I have to wait for you to cure me to be with you." The way he's grumbling makes me smile.

"I guess that's just more of an incentive for me to break this curse."

Draco harrumphs. I stroke his hair. He relaxes. I think he likes his hair played with. I start humming absentmindedly.

"That song... it sounds familiar."

"It's called Let's Dance." 

I'm a bit surprised Draco found the song familiar. I can't really picture him listening to muggle music.

"I like it... you humming it anyways." 

* * *

"You're reading a book?"

I glance up at Hermione. "Surely _that's_ not the oddest thing about this picture."

Draco fell asleep an hour ago. He never moved from my lap. His face is buried in my neck. His arms are draped over my shoulders. I really like it. This feels right.

"Well, I am a bit surprised to see this, but I had a feeling it was only a matter of time." She sits on the bed facing us and takes out her wand. "Anything new?"

"Not much. His heart is failing him. I'm almost certain it's a curse." I hand the book to Hermione.

"How can you be sure?"

"Kreacher said Bellatrix was interested in curses that could cause conditions with the heart. I can't find an incantation though."

Hermione tilts her head, leafing through the book. "Maybe it's not the type of curse to have an incantation."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, some of the more ancient enchantments and curses were done through action. Like that enchantment your mum cast on you. She died protecting you, so you had her protection from Voldemort." Hermione furrows her eyebrows. "Curses and enchantments like that are usually very difficult to break. You have to... go around them. Find a loophole."

"You mean like Voldemort using my blood in the graveyard? He said something about my mother's protection was flowing in his veins after that."

"Exactly. We need time to study this. With work though..." she sighs.

"Do you think we should call in the family to help?" I suggest.

"We could... Ron and George have free time after the shop closes... and Bill is a professional curse breaker. Luna and Ginny are both free too. I'm sure they'll be eager to help." Hermione looks at the book thoughtfully. "I'll send them all letters."

"Thanks." I smile in relief. It's nice to have help.

"That brings me to another matter... Harry, don't you think you should retire from being Malfoy's healer?"

"Why?"

"You're clearly attached to him. It could cloud your judgment while you're treating him." She says it gently, but I still feel defensive.

"I promised him I would heal him. Not hand him off to someone else."

Hermione holds up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "Calm down, or you'll wake him. How about letting me treat him?"

"Hermione..."

"I'm serious. You know I'm fully capable of healing him."

I want to argue, but if I do, I'll be proving that I am too attached to Draco. Instead, I take a deep breath.

"How about this... I'll get your approval in his treatment from now on. If you think I'm making a bad decision, you can stop me. If you think of something I haven't, I'll listen and act accordingly." Compromising usually works best with Hermione.

She narrows her dark eyes thoughtfully before nodding. "Fine. I'll tell Ron to stop at your place and see if he can find more books. Maybe Neville can check the Hogwarts library."

Hermione stands up, hands me my book, and kisses the top of my head. "Be careful with him, Harry. Don't rush into anything."

"I'm not... I really like him, Mione. I don't want to screw this up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people say hi.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta reader Mejewskie for looking for grammar errors and my friend noxsoulmate for keeping me on task and letting me bounce ideas off of her ♡♡♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

"Hello. Draco Malfoy, right?" A man says entering my room.

My first instinct is to be suspicious, but I vaguely recognize him. The eldest Weasley brother. Benjamin? Basil? Benedict?

"Yes."

"Bill Weasley."

Dammit. I should have remembered that. Ginny talks about her brothers often enough.

"Are you here to guard me?" I ask, extending my hand.

Bill comes forward and shakes it. He's so relaxed. He looks confident. He even has a piercing. I've considered getting piercings, but haven't been able to go through with it yet.

"Nah. Well, I guess so. At least until Dad comes in. I'm actually here because Hermione owled me yesterday. She said she wants me to take a look at you, if it's alright." Bill smiles and the scars on his face tighten a bit.

I feel sick suddenly. I recognize those scars now. Bill was hurt when I let death eaters into the school. Greyback clawed him. That was my fault.

I curl up in the chair I'm sitting in, tugging my blanket tighter around me.

"Hey... are you okay? You look a little green." Bill crouches in front of me, looking concerned. I don't deserve it.

"Your...It was my fault. I'm sorry," I mumble. I might throw up.

I spring out of the chair and rush to the loo. I haven't eaten much today. It's all stomach acid. It burns my throat and nose.

A hand pulls my hair back. Another hand starts rubbing my back. I know it's Bill, even if I can't face him.

My stomach clenches painfully as it tries to empty itself into the toilet, but I think there's nothing left in me anymore. When I'm finally done heaving, I spit out whatever is left in my mouth.

Bill is still running his hand up and down my back. I glance at him in confusion. No one has taken care of me while I was throwing up since I was a child.

"Sorry if I got into your personal space. My wife is pregnant with our second child and you look a little like her. Not that you look like a woman, just your hair is similar. I guess muscle memory took over," Bill babbles, looking embarrassed.

Despite what he said, he's still touching me.

"It's fine," I say hoarsely. My throat feels raw.

Bill finally moves away enough to conjure a glass and water. He hands it to me. I nod my thanks and sip it gingerly.

"About what you said earlier. I know the whole story about the vanishing cabinets. I'm actually quite impressed you managed to get it to work. That was some serious magic for a kid."

I blanch and flush the toilet, scooting back to lean against the wall. "I was an idiot. It's all my fault that people got hurt that day."

"Well, in a way. You did let them in, but you were also being threatened by Voldemort, weren't you?"

I flinch. I hate the sound of his name. "Yes. He was going to kill me and my parents if I didn't kill Dumbledore."

"There you have it. If my family was being threatened.. I actually think I would have done the same thing you did. I don't think I would have been able to live with myself if my parents were killed because of a choice I made."

I stare at him. "Ginny said you nearly got turned into a werewolf that night."

"I didn't though. In fact, I look much cooler now." He grins. "I'm fairly certain that was when my mother and wife started getting along too. You may have done me a favor."

I don't know what to say to that, so I drink more water. I don't understand how Bill and Molly are so kind to me, but I'm too tired to question it.

I slowly get up from the floor and move to the sink. I wash my face and brush my teeth methodically. When I'm finished, I walk back to my armchair and curl up under my blanket. I can't really process this right now.

Bill follows me and sits on the bed. "I understand that you have your own version of what happened that night, but I don't blame you."

I nod once, curling tighter into myself.

Bill runs his fingers through his red hair. "The reason I'm here is I'm a curse breaker. Hermione thought it would be a good idea if I tried to figure out which curse we're dealing with."

I blink, my head jerking up. "You're here about the curse? But what if there isn't a curse at all?"

"Well, the least I can do is try. You won't be harmed in any way, I swear. I definitely don't want Harry to hex my bullocks off." He laughs heartily. "Do you consent to this?"

I feel my cheeks get warm. I'm not used to the idea of Harry being so protective of me. "I have nothing to lose. Go for it."

Bill smiles and slips his wand out of his sleeve. "Alright."

A mist of gold envelops me. It tingles on my skin. Every few moments, the mist gets thicker. It feels like it's straining, pushing against something.

The gold condenses around my chest. It feels like my heart is being weighed down with bricks. I watch the gold sink into my skin.

Nothing happens for a long second. Then, a dark murky brown wisp sneaks out of my chest. Ice shoots through my veins. I'm scared.

Suddenly, the brown tendril vanishes and the weight leaves my heart. I feel dizzy.

"It's a curse alright... but it's incredibly ancient. I've never even heard of this type of curse. It fought against me revealing it so hard, I was getting worried you would faint." Bill shoves another glass of water into my hands. "How do you feel?"

"Tired... my heart felt heavy during the spell." I lay my head on the arm of the chair, ignoring the water.

"I guess that's to be expected."

"Can you break it?"

Bill tilts his head and looks thoughtful. "I'm not sure. It's attacking your heart... but the source seems to be in your mind."

"My mind?"

"I can't really describe it, but I'll do my best to research it. Maybe one of my colleagues knows something about this."

"Why are you going through so much trouble for me? I'm not worth it." I pull the blanket over my head.

"You don't... do you really think that?"

Of course I do. I'm not a good person. Regardless of what Harry says, I'm still an ex death eater. I deserve this curse. I don't say anything.

"Listen, I'm doing this because I want to. Your life is worth a lot to the people who love you. Your parents, my sisters, your friends... and Harry. They care about you." I hear Bill sigh. "I don't know what you lived through or how painful it was. I do know that you're worth saving."

A hand touches my shoulder briefly. It's getting hard to breathe under the blanket. It's too hot. I don't reemerge until I hear the door open and close.

I wipe tears off my face. I need a shower. I know no one will disturb me there.

* * *

It seems like whenever Harry isn't working, he's spending time with me. He sleeps in one of the armchairs next to my bed.

I've woken up numerous times to find him with his head buried in a book, a quill and parchment taking notes next to him.

I know he's trying to research the curse.

If Harry isn't there, Hermione or a Weasley is. Always with a book in hand. I think my hospital room is starting to look like a library.

"How did you manage to get the Weasleys to do all of this?" I ask Harry, gesturing to Ron who is flipping through a book.

"Hermione is persuasive. Also, apart from Ron and George, there was no convincing needed." Harry shrugs as his friend throws a pumpkin pasty at him.

Harry catches it easily, reminding me of how he always beat me in quidditch. He hands me the treat. I think he knows I'm not eating well. I don't have much of an appetite lately.

I've been stuck in the hospital for two weeks now. Harry and Hermione are worried that I'll be attacked again and I still won't agree to stay at Harry's place. There's also the alarming problem that my heart isn't working without several potions and spells a day.

I pick small pieces off the pasty and eat them slowly.

"We only needed convincing because we have the shop to run and we have babysitting duty with Victoire. Do you know how hard it is to read a book around her? Vicky keeps trying to eat them." Ron sinks lower in his chair, groaning. "Fleur is very adamant that these books are unsanitary and her baby shouldn't use them for teething."

Harry chuckles and hugs me closer to his side. He's sitting in my bed with me. He's propped against the wall and one arm is wrapped around me.

We've been reading an absolutely ancient book together. It's about Prussian curses. I'm not hopeful that we'll find anything.

I take off the glasses Hermione charmed for us. They translate written words. They're very useful, but they give me a headache if I use them for too long. I rub my eyes.

"Are you okay, Draco?" Harry asks, looking concerned.

He looks ridiculous right now. He still needs his normal glasses, so he's wearing two pairs. I cough to disguise a giggle.

"Fine. Just a little tired."

Harry's fingers run through my hair. I think he's growing obsessed with it. He's always petting me. I quite like it. It's soothing.

He starts humming softly as he guides my head to rest on his shoulder. I think he's trying to lull me to sleep.

I don't really want to sleep yet. I like these moments too much. I thought I loved Harry before, but what I'm feeling now... it grows stronger every day. I have to wonder if I was fooling myself before and this is what love really is.

I feel Harry's lips press against my forehead. I smile and look up at him. Harry's been kissing me a lot since the day we talked about being together. It's always chaste. Little kisses all over my face. My nose, eyelids, cheeks, chin, eyebrows, and forehead have all been graced by Harry's lips.

He just won't kiss my mouth. I wish he would, but I understand there's a line right now that we can't cross. We can't be lovers until I'm healed. Granted... it feels like we are lovers already with all of the affection and time we spend together. 

Harry smiles down at me and leans in. He pecks my nose just as the door opens.

We turn to look at the door. For a moment, there's nothing there. I start feeling apprehensive. What if it's my attacker?

Then, a man appears. He's holding Harry's invisibility cloak. The man is vaguely familiar. I think he was in Ravenclaw in my year. Goldstein?

Harry tenses beside me. Ron jumps to his feet and pulls out his wand.

"You've been cheating on me? Is that why you've been turning away my owls?" The guy clenches his fists.

Harry gets off the bed and crosses the room. I've never seen him look so angry.

My head starts reeling as I take in what Goldstein is saying. Harry was already in a relationship when we kissed? When he asked me to be his boyfriend?

"Anthony, get the hell out of here," Harry growls, snatching his cloak out of Goldstein's hands.

"Don't make me hurt you, Harry."

I see the man's fist raise. Red clouds my vision. The next thing I know, Goldstein is on the ground underneath me. His nose and mouth is bleeding. My hand is throbbing.

I can't hear anything. My heart is thundering in my ears. I feel hands pulling me up. The person wraps their arms around mine.

"Malfoy! Malfoy! Draco!" the person shouts in my ear.

I realize I'm struggling against him. My body stills. I'm breathing hard. I see Harry summon a vial and place on it my bed. His lips move.

Goldstein scrambles to his feet. Harry grabs him by the arm and drags him out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Ron guides me to the bed and hands me the vial. I drink it thoughtlessly. I feel my body relaxing. The anger seeps out of me.

"Well... my respect for you has just skyrocketed," Ron sounds winded. "How the hell are you so strong in your condition?" 

I look at my hand. It's covered in blood. I split the skin on my knuckles. Ron casts  _episkey_ on it. The skin stitches back together. 

"I can't believe Harry didn't tell me he was seeing someone," I whisper, feeling my eyes burn.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people say hi ♡♡♡
> 
> [Venessa Kelley made the art for this chapter! Check out her work here! ](Vkelleyart.tumblr.com)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta as always. 
> 
> A huge shout out to noxsoulmate as well. Without her, this chapter would have been complete crap. She helped me so much with the legal matters and gave me valuable insight. She also helped me through the death of a friend this weekend. She is absolutely brilliant. I also recommend her work ♡♡♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

Anthony must be dazed from Draco punching him.

He didn't say a word or struggle against me as I pulled him through the hospital.

We did get several dark looks from my colleagues though. None of them like Anthony because of how disruptive he is. 

Elliot glared stonily at Anthony as I dragged him to the stairwell. I should have probably explained what I was doing, but I didn't want Anthony to fight back.

This will be a whole lot easier with his presence... and if he finds out what I'm about to do, he won't come with me.

When I saw Anthony's fist raise, I knew he was going to hit me. My immediate reaction was worry; not for myself, but for Draco. I was worried what the stress would do to his heart.

Draco, apparently, did not have the same fears I did. I still can't believe he broke Anthony's nose. Thank magic Ron's spell went over Draco's head. It hit a vase of daffodils and shattered it.

We reach the front doors to the hospital. I pull Anthony outside and disapparate.

* * *

"Why did you bring us to the ministry?" Anthony demands thickly.

He tried to heal his nose himself, but Anthony has never been very skilled at healing magic. He managed to stop the blood, but the bone is still broken.

"We're going to see an old friend of mine," I answer shortly.

I'm still pulling him along. He's very reluctant to follow me going by the way he's dragging his feet.

Thankfully, he waited until we were almost to our destination before talking. I knock on Kingsley's door. The door opens by itself.

I pull Anthony inside. Kingsley is writing something on a piece of parchment. When he finishes, he places it in a tray on his desk. It disappears.

"Harry." Kingsley conjures two rigid chairs across from him. "And you are?"

"Anthony Goldstein." Anthony schools his face into one of polite interest and sits down.

"What is this about?" Kingsley asks me as I take a seat as well.

Anthony answers the question before I can even open my mouth.

"I have no idea what we are doing here, sir. This is clearly between me and Harry and we should leave it that way... right, Harry?" Anthony says, adding just a touch of malice.

"I'm going to have to disagree," I reply firmly. "Kingsley, I need DAISIES."

I see Kingsley's jaw clench. He knows as well as I do that DAISIES isn't something to be taken lightly.

"What do you need with a bunch of flowers?" Anthony demands. "We're leaving, Harry. This is our relationship and this man has nothing to do with that."

Just as Anthony tries to stand up, Kingsley waves his wand. Ropes tie Anthony to the chair. He's fuming now. He almost reminds me of Uncle Vernon with the way his face is turning purple with anger.

"What the hell are you doing?! You can't just tie people up like this! You can't hold me against my will!" Anthony spits.

"On the contrary, Harry has leveled a very serious accusation against you. I am allowed to hold you both here until it is sorted out." Kingsley flicks his wand again and a piece of parchment appears on his desk.

"What accusation?! He just wants some flowers!"

"Domestic Abuse & Invasive Stalking, Immediate Enforced Separation. By asking me to give him DAISIES, Harry is essentially accusing you of abuse and or stalking. He's requesting that I separate you."

Anthony stills for a second. Then, his head whips around to face me. "Tell him I'm not abusing you, Harry."

"No."

"If you do, I'll forgive this. I'll let you come home right now and we can pretend none of this happened."

I feel sick because as much I never want to see him again, a small part of me wants to do as he says.

"Enough. Goldstein, you will remain silent until Harry is finished talking or I will silence you myself." Kingsley's face is neutral, but I can see a flash of anger in his eyes.

"I will not be silenced! This is ridiculous! I haven't done anything wrong!" Anthony's face is turning purple again. "Harry is overreacti-"

Kingsley flicks his wand and Anthony is cut off. His mouth opens and closes furiously, but he can't make a sound.

I feel a rush of gratitude towards Kingsley for silencing him. Now, I'll be able to tell him my side without interruptions. I'm also a little grateful that Anthony needed to be charmed quiet. It strengthens my case against him.

"Harry, tell me what you have to say. Then, I will listen to Goldstein."

"Anthony and I were in relationship up until a couple weeks ago. I left him because my family had an intervention with me. They showed me something that was blindingly obvious to them. Anthony has been abusing me." I take a breath.

"What has he done?" Kingsley prompts.

"A number of things. He's tried to hit me, but mostly it was controlling me. I couldn't see my family or friends. I had to be home from work right away or he would show up at the hospital and be disruptive. He would pressure me to sleep with him when I was tired from work. He treated... he treated me like an object." I fold my arms and stare down at my knees.

"Anything else?"

"He made me think it was my fault he acted the way he did." I sigh. "Today, he used my invisibility cloak to sneak into the hospital. I was spending my off time with a patient who has been cursed. We were researching the curse when Anthony came into my patient's private room. He proceeded to accuse me of cheating on him and turning away his mail."

Actually, that part is mildly confusing. I haven't received any mail from Anthony.

"Are there any witnesses to your claim or proof?"

"Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Ginny Weasley-Lovegood have all witnessed his abusive behavior. I'm also willing to give you my memories or take veritaserum."

"Your memories will suffice."

Kingsley produces a clear glass vial and hands it to me. I touch my wand to my temple and focus on drawing out the memories of my relationship with Anthony.

The silvery thread is long and takes a few minutes to get it all out. It's weird taking out a memory like that. I still know what happened, but I can't recall the images anymore. I gently place it in the vial. Kingsley takes it.

"Goldstein, I'm going to lift the silencing charm. This is your only chance to offer a defense for yourself. If you act disrespectfully, I will not listen to what you have to say. Do you understand?" Kingsley says, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Anthony looks furious, but he nods. Kingsley flicks his wand.

"I only did things like that because Harry is bi. That means there's twice the chance he'll cheat on me. I was right by the way. He's cheating with that scrawny ferret Draco Malfoy. Who punched me in the nose, I might add! He's not sick. He's faking it for attention. Everyone knows he's wanted to fuck Harry since third year."

Kingsley looks faintly startled. His eyes flick to mine, but only for a second. "Goldstein, are you aware that what you've been doing is a crime?"

"It is not. Harry's my boyfriend. That means I have a right to know where he is and who he's trying to shag. I have a right to sleep with him if I want to." Anthony shoots me a nasty look.

Kingsley looks flabbergasted. I've never seen Kingsley at a loss. I didn't think it was possible even.

"I'm authorizing DAISIES. I'll look at the memories as a formality, but Goldstein has clearly admitted to the crime. Do you want the memories back after I have viewed them?"

I shake my head. I don't want anything to do with Anthony, including memories of him. "Keep them. Bin them. I don't care. I have more important things I need to take care of."

Anthony growls. Literally growls. I ignore him. Kingsley taps the parchment with his wand. It glows faintly as words appear on it.

DAISIES is a unique form of magical protection. Once our magical signatures are recognized on the parchment, we won't be able to communicate with each other. We won't notice each other in public. Anthony won't even be able to talk about me if it's done with the intent of stalking or harming me.

Any items of mine left in his house will end up at my place and vice versa. If we had kids, the magic would be a lot more complicated, but we don't.

Anthony and I will be completely separated magically. I know, because Hermione developed this magic years ago. She talked about it at length... and she  mentioned it last week.

Now that I think about it, I'm certain she planted the idea in my head on purpose. Thank magic. She's clever. I'm buying her that magical encyclopedia set she's been eyeing. I owe her a thank you present.

"Harry, tap your wand on the parchment."

I follow the instruction quickly. I want to get back to Draco soon and clear this all up. He must be confused. The parchment shimmers green.

"Goldstein, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can either willingly place your magical signature on the parchment or I can call another auror in here to babysit you until you do."

"You can't keep me here," Anthony says defiantly. "You can't force me to sign it."

The words fall flat considering he's still stuck in the chair.

"Just sign it. I never want to see you again, Anthony. Nothing will ever make me love you again." I roll my eyes.

"I could just give you a love potion. You would love me then."

I feel sick at the thought.

Kingsley narrows his eyes. "Let's put it this way, you can sign this, or I'll send you to Azkaban for three months."

Anthony turns pale. He hates the idea of Azkaban just as much as every other witch and wizard.

I'm still expecting him to protest, but he just nods jerkily. Kingsley releases him from the ropes.

Anthony pulls out his wand. He looks at me. It looks like he's almost sorry for what he's done. I recognize it for what it is though. He's only sorry that he's lost a toy.

He reluctantly taps the paper with his wand. The shimmering turns orange. Kingsley waves his wand over it and it returns to looking like a normal piece of parchment.

Anthony stands up. It's hard to focus on him. My eyes want to slide over him.

"Can I go now?" Anthony snaps, looking like a kid about to have a tantrum.

"Please do." Kingsley gestures for him to leave.

Once he is gone, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I feel free.

"Thank you, Kingsley."

* * *

**Ron**

I have overheard loads of things about Draco Malfoy over the years. Ginny and Luna talk about him often enough. I know he keeps bees. I know he donates money to the orphanage Neville set up for kids who lost their families in the war. I know he does yoga with Luna. I even know he has something wrong with his mind that causes panic attacks.

The thing is, I've never cared. I don't know this Draco. I just know Malfoy: the git who bullied us, called Hermione a slur, and let death eaters into our school.

I didn't want to know him either. I didn't give a damn if he had changed. I just wanted to forget him and be done with it.

Then, Harry came to me last week. He told me how much he's starting to like the ferret. He asked me to support him.

Obviously I am going to. Harry is my best friend. So long as he's not in a bad situation, it's my job to support him and love him. That doesn't mean I have to like his boyfriend though.

That was what I thought. Today changed that. I can't remember the last time I saw Harry looking so relaxed and happy.

Of course, Anthony had to barge in and try ruining Harry's happiness.

Last month, George and I developed a spell. We wanted to use it on Anthony, but never had the chance. The spell relocates the victim's cock and balls to their forehead. We call it the dickhead curse.

I decided to use it the second I saw Anthony's fist raise... but Draco beat me to the punch. Literally.

I felt it as soon as I heard Anthony's nose break. It was so satisfying, I couldn't help it. I felt a sense of comradery with Draco. I actually like him enough to consider him a friend now.

All it took was seeing him defend Harry from his bitch of an ex.

I can't wait to tell Mione, George, and Gin about this.

Draco's hand is bleeding. I give him the potion Harry threw on his bed and heal his hand. I'm just about to tell him that he did a good job rearranging Anthony's face, when he speaks.

"I can't believe Harry didn't tell me he was seeing someone."

I blink. Harry never told Draco about Anthony?

"He's not seeing Anthony," I say firmly. "Anthony is his psychotic ex boyfriend."

"But... why would he say that Harry is cheating?" Draco is staring at the floor, his hands clenched in front of him.

"Like I said, he's insane. Harry broke it off with him and he doesn't want to accept it."

I sit down in front of him. I actually feel a little sorry for him. Draco looks devastated. I suppose I can tell him a bit about Anthony. Harry will have to do most of it later.

"This is something Harry should tell you himself, but I'm going to explain a bit first." I lean back in the chair and look at the ceiling. "Anthony has been abusing Harry for months. Mostly, from what I gather, it's emotional abuse. That's what Hermione says anyways. He justified controlling him by claiming Harry was more likely to cheat on him because he's bisexual."

"How does being bi make you more likely to cheat?"

"More people to choose from I guess." I shrug. "It doesn't make sense to me either."

"That is ludicrous. Your morality doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality," Draco fumes, folding his arms.

"I agree, but Anthony still used it against him. It was really frustrating to watch."

"Why did Harry stay with him then?"

"Well... Harry is famous, you know? He's tried dating and Skeeter always finds out and publishes some idiotic article about his partner. Usually, the articles are horrible. Then, his partners get howlers and hate mail. It's a huge mess." I slump in the chair, remembering when Hermione was sent hate mail in our fourth year. "Either people tell his partners that they're not good enough or Skeeter suggests they used a love potion... and you can guess how that goes."

"Okay... but what does that have to do with Goldstein?" Draco runs his fingers through his hair.

"Anthony is the only person who wasn't scared off. Harry was lonely and he thought... no one else would stick around. I bet Anthony made sure to drag his self esteem through the mud too. If he kept Harry beaten down, Harry wouldn't want to leave." I'm quoting Hermione, but she's usually right about these things.

Draco continues to stare at his lap for a long time without speaking. When he finally does open his mouth, I'm surprised at the question.

"Is there anything I can do to help him?"

"Uh... well, I'm not sure. I think he just needs love and support. Hermione usually says that." I rub the back of my neck.

Draco finally meets my eyes. He looks sad. "I can do that... but he needs to be honest with me first. I need to understand the situation."

I open my mouth to defend Harry, but Draco holds up his hand.

"I recognize that look on your face. I'm not trying to attack Harry or anything of the kind. I'm not calling him a liar. I... really care about him... but Goldstein just burst into my room. I need to know that we're both safe. I wouldn't put it passed Goldstein to curse Harry or me right now... and I need to hear what you just told me from Harry himself." He looks down again.

I hesitate. I suppose I can see where Draco is coming from. His heart is in a fragile state. Anthony could have caused him to go into cardiac arrest or something.

It's also fair that Draco wants to hear all of this from Harry. Really, this Harry's personal life. He should be here to explain the situation himself.

I hope he's okay. I think Anthony might actually try to hurt him if he gets the chance... but Harry can handle himself. I wish I knew where they went. Harry only told me to give Draco that potion before he left. He also mentioned flowers? I feel like that was significant, but I don't know why.

"Well... he should be back soon enough."

I wish Hermione was here. She would probably understand why Harry was talking about daisies of all things. She would probably know how to handle this whole situation.

I could go wake her up. She's sleeping in the break room before her next shift. It's right down the hall. I won't though. She works so hard and is juggling too many things right now. She needs her rest.

"He better be okay. If Goldstein has harmed a hair on his head, I'm going to curse him so hard, his ancestors will feel it." Draco falls back in his bed, sulking.

Okay, I definitely like this Draco better than the one I went to school with.

"Do you want me to teach you the dickhead curse?" I offer, a grin making its way onto my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment. I love it when people say hi. ♡♡♡♡♡


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta Mejewskie and my alpha noxsoulmate! They are both brilliant and I adore them. ♡♡♡ noxsoulmate really helped me again with her brilliant insights!
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

"What are you two doing?"

Hermione's voice cuts through the air sharply. Ron and I look at her, lowering our wands. We glance at each other.

"Ronald Weasley," she says threateningly when neither of us answer. "I don't care about your schoolboy grudge. Draco shouldn't be dueling right now."

"We weren't dueling," Ron says, holding up his hands. "I was teaching Draco a spell."

Hermione narrows her eyes. Suddenly, I feel bad for anyone who has ever pissed her off. The anger slowly fades.

"Did you just... call him Draco?"

Ron rubs the back of his neck. "Uh, well... yeah. I think we've come to an understanding actually."

My eyebrow raises as I lean against the window. "Did we?"

"After what you did to Anthony, yeah. I mean, hell, I like you well enough now." Ron shrugs.

"Back up. What did you just say about Anthony?" Hermione scowls. "Was he here? Why didn't you wake me up?"

I decide to let Ron explain. I'm more interested in looking out the window. My room has a good view of the street in front of the hospital. I should be able to see Harry when he comes back.

I know it's just my own insecurity, but I'm afraid he won't come back. Logically, I know he will, but anxiety tugs on my mind and heart.

"Anthony sneaked in here with Harry's cloak. He started shouting about Harry cheating on him with Draco. Anthony raised his fist and Draco tackled him and broke his nose," Ron hurriedly explains.

Hermione shoots me an appraising look. I think I can almost see approval on her face, but she turns to Ron to quickly for me to be certain.

"What happened then? Where is Harry?"

"Harry told me to give Draco a potion and mentioned daisies. He left with Anthony immediately after." Ron tilts his head. "Do you know why he said that?"

I'm surprised to see Hermione's shoulders sag. Relief washes over her features. "Thank the goddess. I was worried Harry would never file for DAISIES."

"What?" Ron looks at me in confusion.

I don't know why he does that. I am as lost as he is. The way Hermione phrased it, it sounds like an acronym, but I can't even begin to guess what it is.

"Why am I not surprised you forgot?" Hermione rolls her dark brown eyes. "DAISIES: Domestic Abuse & Invasive Stalking, Immediate Enforced Separation.  Remember? It's the magical contract I developed when I found out wizards don't have restraining orders."

Recognition dawns on Ron's face.

"Oh," he breathes, "Harry is filing DAISIES against Anthony."

"What does that mean exactly?" I ask, glancing out the window again.

My heart leaps. I can see someone with messy black hair striding down the sidewalk.

"It means, if DAISIES is authorized, Anthony won't be able to come near Harry. He won't even be able to speak about him. He won't be able to harm Harry again."

I'm only half paying attention to her now. I understand what she is saying, but my eyes are fixed on Harry until he enters the building.

"Harry's back."

I turn on my heel and move as quickly as I can. I rush out of my room, ignoring Hermione as she tries to stop me. I need to see Harry. I need to confirm that Goldstein didn't hurt him.

I dodge healers and visitors, some of who are startled to see me walking so quickly through the corridors. I skirt the head healer.

I see him. I see Harry. He is leaving the stairwell. He looks exhausted, but I can't see any signs of a fight.

His eyes widen when he sees me. I see his lips form my name. I can't hear him though. He starts running to me.

"Draco, what are you doing? You shouldn't be straining your body."

He cups my face in his hands, looking at me worriedly. I grasp his wrists. I'm still searching for signs that he's been hurt, but I find none. That doesn't mean he wasn't hurt somewhere I can't see.

"What happened? Did Goldstein do anything to you?" I demand.

"No. I'm completely fine," he says gently, his thumbs stroking my cheekbones. "Anthony won't be a problem anymore."

I want to ask him more about Goldstein, but I'm so relieved that he is here and unhurt, the words die in my throat. Instead, I dip my head and press my lips to his.

Kissing Harry in the middle of the hospital corridor with his coworkers surrounding us is probably a bad idea. At the moment, I don't care.

Harry's lips move against mine, kissing me sweetly. I feel all the tension drain from my body.

Someone clears their throat. Harry pulls away from me. I can see a flush rising in his cheeks.

"Elliot..." Harry says, grimacing.

"We need to talk, Harry. Mr. Malfoy, can you wait in your room, please?" Elliot doesn't wait for an answer. He just walks off in another direction.

"It will be fine, love," Harry murmurs.

I nod jerkily and watch him leave. I am worried that I just cost him his job.

Someone's hand wraps around my wrist. They guide me back to my room. I follow numbly. They make me sit in one of the chairs gently. I look up into worried dark eyes.

"Draco, are you okay?" Hermione asks, handing me a glass of water.

"Did... I just get Harry fired?"

Hermione shakes her head. "No, don't worry about that. Elliot is a fair person. He wouldn't fire Harry over something like this."

"Yeah, it's more likely he caught wind of Anthony coming here. Harry said Elliot was getting tired of that." Ron claps a hand to my shoulder.

Hermione takes out her wand. I watch her run through diagnostic spells. "When was your last potion?"

"Right after Harry left."

Hermione nods and points her wand at me. A soft light enters my chest. My heart feels warm as it slows down. I hadn't realised that it was beating so fast.

"My shift is starting in a few minutes. I have to go, but I'll be back to check on you in an hour or so." Hermione squeezes Ron's shoulder and leaves.

There's silence between us for a moment. Ron is being quiet and I just don't know what to say. I still need to talk to Harry about Goldstein. I need to understand what is happening.

"Harry will be back before you know it," Ron says after a long moment.

"I shouldn't have kissed him. We decided we wouldn't do that while he was still my healer." I force myself to drink my water.

"Harry looked like he was enjoying it if you ask me." Ron snickers. "But yeah, you should have probably waited until you weren't in public."

I feel my cheeks heat. "I know. I don't know what came over me."

"Well, it's not like you did it to hurt him." Ron shrugs. "I mean... the you I knew in school probably would have tried to get Harry fired, but this you.. you're more mature and nicer."

I flinch. I can't help it. The memories of everything I did as a student are filled with remorse.

"About that..." I stare into my cup. "I am sorry. I wasn't kind to you or anyone really. I fucked up a lot. If it weren't for me... Fred might not have died. Dumbledore would probably still be alive too."

Ron doesn't say anything for a long time. I don't blame him. An apology from me probably doesn't mean anything. There is nothing I can do to make up for Fred's death... or Dumbledore's.

"Well, that's about six years late... but better late than never," Ron says roughly. "I... forgive you. Just don't break Harry's heart."

He squeezes my shoulder. I blink up at him. Ron is staring at the ceiling. I think I see tears in his eyes.

"I'm not planning on hurting him," I answer quietly. "Ever."

* * *

It's another twenty minutes before my door opens. Harry walks in, balancing three steaming mugs. I vanish my water.

"How did it go?" Ron asks, standing up.

"Elliot wasn't happy. He saw me leaving with Anthony. He lectured me for about fifteen minutes." Harry sighs, handing us each a mug. "Finally, he allowed me to get a word in. I told him about DAISIES and he was relieved.... but...."

Harry glances at me, looking worried.

"What?" I ask, feeling nervous.

"Hermione is officially your healer now. Elliot is worried that I'm too close to you to treat you properly." Harry shifts his weight. "I'm sorry, Draco. I told you I would heal you."

I take a moment to let that sink in. Then, I roll my eyes so hard, I swear I almost see the back of my skull.

"Harry, I don't care about that. I don't mind having Hermione as my healer at all." I smirk. "At least she is competent."

I take a sip of the tea Harry gave me to hide my grin. Ron looks torn between defending Harry and being proud of Hermione... and Harry's mouth is opening and closing. Its highly amusing.

After a moment, Harry starts laughing. Ron glances at Harry, but then he starts chuckling too.

Harry leans down and kisses the top of my head. "Ron, can you give Draco and me some time alone?"

"Just make sure your clothes are on before Hermione comes back." Ron winks at us before taking a book and leaving.

I take another long drink of my tea. I know Harry isn't planning on sleeping with me, but the thought is enough to make me want to squirm.

Harry moves a chair and sits in front of me. He takes one of my hands in his.

"I am assuming you're going to explain what happened with Goldstein." I look at our hands. His darker skin contrasts prettily against mine.

"Yeah. I owe you an explanation, but first, I need to tell a few things."

I meet Harry's green eyes. He looks so tired. I squeeze his hand. He's so close, our knees are touching.

"The first thing is I'm not dating Anthony. I broke up with him weeks ago."

"Was that before or after we kissed?" I ask quietly.

"After... but it was the same day I left him." Harry looks uncomfortable.

"Okay..." I can handle that. I think. Then I remember something. "That means you were still dating him when we..."

I hesitate. I still don't know if Harry was going to kiss me when we were at my cottage.

"Ah... you mean when we almost kissed and I got stung?" Harry asks, his face flushing.

"You were about to kiss me then?"

"I was. I completely forgot myself. I forgot about Anthony. I forgot I was your healer." Harry runs his fingers through his hair. "The truth is, I haven't felt anything for Anthony for a long time. After that night with you, I went to my friends for advice. Ron convinced me to leave Anthony."

I'm not sure how to feel about that. I don't like the idea of Harry nearly kissing me when he was dating someone else, but I can understand it a little bit after everything Ron told me.

"Tell me the rest." I put my mug down and grab Harry's other hand.

"Well... the other things I want you to know first are that I'm sorry that Anthony showed up here tonight, I'm sorry you fought with him... it must have been... unnerving to say the least." Harry squeezes my hands. "The last thing is I really like you. I had a crush on you in Hogwarts... but now I really, really like you. I want to be with you and only you."

I take a breath, trying to steady my nerves. There are a lot of things I want to say, but I focus on what is important. "If he shows up here again, I'm cursing him. Ron just taught me a curse that I'm itching to try out... but I'm upset because he tried to hurt you. He stalked you. I'm not upset with you.... and I really like you too."

Harry's hands tense around mine. He's staring at me with a tenderness I've never seen directed at me. "He won't show up again. He can't come near us anymore. I filed DAISIES. That's a-"

"Hermione explained DAISIES. That's an impressive piece of magic... and I'm grateful Anthony can't harm you again or stalk you." 

Harry smiles slightly. 

"So, tell me what he did to you," I say gently, bringing Harry's hands up to kiss his fingers.

Harry leans forward and presses a kiss to my forehead. Then, he starts talking.

He tells me about when he first met Goldstein after school. How Goldstein brought him to an aquarium... how they grew close. Harry tells me that Goldstein was charming and kind at first.

I feel vaguely jealous, but I know its irrational because Harry is right here with me. He's not with Goldstein.

Harry goes on, his grip on my hands tightening. He talks about how Goldstein dealt with the media. How people sent him howlers because Rita Skeeter made it seem like he wasn't good enough to be with Harry.

I stop myself from saying she was right.

Harry tells me that not long after the howlers, Goldstein grew possessive. He guilted Harry into not seeing his friends and family. He called Harry selfish for being bi and believed Harry liking girls was just a phase. Then, he would turn around and say that Harry was going to cheat on him because he would start missing vaginas.

Harry's squeezing my hands so tightly, his knuckles have gone white. I rub the back of his hands with my thumbs until he relaxes.

Harry takes a deep breath. He tells me about the abuse next. About how Goldstein would pressure him for sex and withhold affection to punish him. He tells me how Goldstein would show up at his work if Harry wasn't home by a certain time. He tells me about the time Goldstein was mad and punched the wall next to Harry's head. He tells me about how Goldstein cursed Harry's house elf.

Harry tells me that all of this happened slowly. Harry didn't notice the changes at first... and then Harry started blaming himself for Goldstein's actions. He tells me how Goldstein kept him down. How he would tell Harry no one would put up with Harry besides him.

Hearing about all of the abuse Goldstein put Harry through is enough to make my blood boil. I stay silent as Harry speaks, letting him get it all off his chest.

By the time Harry is finished, I'm seething. I want to find Goldstein, use the dickhead curse, and punch him right in the forehead. That actually seems too kind. I want to kill him. I want to torture him.

"I understand if you don't want to be with me after hearing all of this," Harry says, pulling one of his hands out of mine to rake through his hair.

"Harry, I know you can't help being an oblivious idiot sometimes, but do you really think hearing all of that would make me want to be with you any less?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, you shouldn't call someone who has been abused an idiot." Harry smiles tentatively.

"Probably not... but have you met me? I'm a very rude and snarky individual." I shrug.

Harry grins and cups my face in his hands. "And somehow I'm still attracted to you."

My heart flutters.

"Are you masochistic?"

"No, I just really like you." Harry laughs.

I'm addicted to Harry's laugh. It makes my chest feel warm. "You're not my healer anymore right?"

Harry shakes his head. "No... why?"

"Because I'm tired of waiting... if you are."

"I am too." He smiles slightly. "But... are you sure? I doubt we will be able to keep this quiet."

"I think I can handle howlers and hate mail. It's not like it would be the first time." I roll my eyes.

When I was released from Azkaban, howlers and hate mail showed up at my mother's place for me a month. People were pissed that a death eater was released from Azkaban after only a few months.

Harry looks confused, but then understanding crosses his features. He just seems sad now. I kiss his forehead.

"If I can make a suggestion?" A voice says, sounding faintly amused.

Healer Elliot is standing in the doorway. I wonder how long he's been there.

Harry rubs the back of his neck. "Yes?"

"Just write your own article for the paper first. That takes away Skeeter's shock value... and you guys get to control the information that public first sees." Elliot leans against the door. "Of course, she will still write her own version of events and some people will listen to that, but you'll get the first word in."

Harry's mouth falls open. Elliot smirks.

"That seems really obvious to me," Elliot says.

I have to agree with him. Honestly, that does seem blindingly obvious now that he said it. I know there will still be howlers, but there might not be as much. Not that howlers would stop me from being with Harry at all.

"Sounds like a plan," I say, smiling faintly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment! I love it when people say hi ♡♡♡


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta Mejewskie and my alpha noxsoulmate! They are both brilliant and I adore them. ♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!
> 
> I was really unsatisfied with the way this chapter turned out, so I added to it. I feel a lot better about this version. I'm very sorry for this since it's not a new chapter really. I had writer's block and I just wanted to get this chapter out, so I didn't give it my all. I hope you guys enjoy this version.
> 
> I read everyone's comments last time and I thank you guys for always being so supportive.

****

**Harry**

We decide not to go to the press right away.  I don't want howlers or hate mail coming while Draco's heart is still so weak. He's not improving... but he's not getting any worse either. I don't want to risk it. He's too important to me.

Everyone who knows that we're dating has assured us that they won't say anything to anyone. The list is pretty small considering Draco kissed me in front of my coworkers and a couple visitors. Elliot insisted on erasing that small moment from their minds. It was dangerous to the health of his patient was the way Elliot put it.

I don't know how he got all those people to agree to it, but Elliot is very good at persuasion.

Draco is getting restless being stuck in the hospital. He complains often about wanting to go back home. Where I once would have found that annoying, I now find it cute. I like seeing the pout on his lips. I like kissing it away.

He used to curl up in my lap sulking, but Hermione decided that it was best for him to get mild exercise. Now, we go for walks around the hospital when he needs fresh air.

It's a bit of a pain because we need to hide Draco in case his attacker is nearby. He uses my cloak whenever we go out. We even worked out how to hold hands without attracting attention. I keep my hand limp and he hooks his pinky around mine.

The first time he did it, I nearly melted. It was such a timid action, as if Draco expected me to reject the touch. Of course I didn't.

He's reading a book next to me in his room. George is sitting upside down in a chair. He and Arthur are talking about something in one of the books Ron brought from my place.

I tune them out, trying to focus on my own book. I haven't studied this much since my N.E.W.T.s. The words seem like they're blurring together.

"Harry!" Arthur jumps to his feet.

Draco and I both jump at the shout. Arthur rushes over to us, holding a book open.

"Read this!"

I take the book. It's clearly ancient. The pages are worn and brittle. It takes me a minute to get used to the penmanship. This book is more like a journal. The page is full of magic that makes my skin crawl.

There's not just spells to turn a person inside out and leave them alive... though there are plenty of spells that are grotesque like that... including that one. And there is a crude drawing of it too.

The magic that freaks me out is magic that attacks a person's mind. There's a spell to make the victim hear voices in their head until they are driven insane. There's one that saps a person's will to live slowly until they commit suicide.

" _Diu mors cor_..." I read aloud from the section Arthur is pointing at. "Curse. Kills victim by destroying the mind and heart. Irreversible. Slow death. Causes the heart to enlarge and beat erratically until it stops beating all together."

I look up at Draco. He's gone white as a sheet.

"Is there anything else?" Draco asks, his voice trembling.

I shake my head. There is absolutely nothing else on the curse. No way to cure it.... irreversible. I'm not going to accept that.

Arthur gently pries my fingers off the book. I had been clutching it so hard, the delicate pages are tearing. I take a breath and let go.

Draco is shaking beside me, so I pull him into my arms. He buries his face in my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, love. It might have been irreversible back in... well, whenever that was written. That doesn't mean we can't break the curse now.... and Cor Ejus is a newer spell. That book wouldn't know if it works or not."

Draco takes a few deep breaths. His hands are fisted in my shirt. I comb through his hair with my fingers. It's not tied up today.

I'm about to suggest Draco and I take a walk to let him get some fresh air, when Ron bursts into the room.

"Mum just collapsed! She isn't breathing!"

Something feels wrong. I can't put my finger on what, but George and Arthur are already on their feet.

"Where is she?!"

"Down by the Welcome Witch!" Ron says urgently. "Harry, please hurry!"

Draco pushes at me. "Go!"

He looks scared. I am too.

"I'll be right back." I kiss the top of his head.

When I look up, Lucius Malfoy is in the doorway. I've never seen Lucius look so... unkempt. His hair is all over the place and his robes look... wrong... like they're too big for him.

Lucius looks at Draco who has gone still in my arms. His lip curls into a sneer.

"Harry!" Ron shouts, begging me.

I have a terrible feeling that something bad is about to happen, but I need to help Molly. I need to go. George and Arthur are already gone. I force my feet to move.

I expect to see more people rushing to the Welcome Witch. I expect to see a crowd. The only people in the lobby are a few patients, standing in line to talk to her. No one is panicking. No one is crowding around a still body.

George and Arthur are looking around in confusion, trying to talk to Ron. He has a vacant look on his face.

My blood runs cold. Something is terribly wrong. I turn on my heel and start running up the stairs again. Something catches my attention. Someone is hammering on a door and shouting.

I can't make out what they're saying. It's an empty room. I know there is no patient in that ward because I signed off on the release of the patient just a few hours ago at the end of my shift.

The door is locked. I quickly cast a charm to unlock it and throw the door open.

Lucius Malfoy is standing on the other side, looking panicked.

* * *

**Draco**

My heart is hammering. I'm worried sick about Molly... and that's on top of hearing about this curse.

I take a breath, reminding myself that this might not be the curse affecting me. It might not even be a curse. Harry could be wrong.

"Here, drink this. I got it from your mother."

My father presses a vial into my hands. I can't look at him. I'm terrified of what I'll see in his eyes. He must have seen Harry holding me and kissing my head. There's no way that looked platonic.

I down the potion nervously. It tastes so bitter, I start choking on it. This isn't my usual potion.

"What was that potion?"

"Oh... just a poison that Vinnie was fond of."

I blink. Ice seems to be inching through my veins.  My lips feel tingly. It's getting harder to breathe. My stomach hurts. I try lifting my hand. I try reaching for my wand. I can't. My arm refuses to move.

"I thought mother... Vin... poison?" That should have been a shout. I should have been screaming. Everything hurts. My head hurts. It's hard to speak.

I look up at my father. His face is twisted into a sinister smile. I don't understand. The ice is spreading. My vision is getting dark. I think I'm dying.

* * *

**Harry**

Lucius and I run to Draco's room. I hear him shouting about someone locking him in a room and ripping out his hair.

I'm only half listening.

Whoever impersonated Lucius is long gone. I fight the instinct to chase after him. I have to check on Draco first.

Draco is lying in his bed. His lips are turning white. I rush to his side.

"Draco?!"

There's a vial in his hand. It's empty.... and it's not one of our hospital vials.

Blood rushes in my ears.

"Get Hermione!" I snap at Lucius.

He snaps out of his shock and turns on his heel. Thank the gods. I was briefly worried he would be an ass about it.

I lift the vial to my nose. It's definitely not the potion Draco is prescribed.

I don't have time to figure out what it is. My best guess is poison. So, I do the only thing I can think of in the time I have: I summon an elixir made from a bezoar.

I pour the purple liquid down Draco's throat, praying that I'm right because it doesn't look like Draco has long left to live.

Hermione bursts in and immediately starts casting spells on him.

"I gave him the bezoar elixir," I say, holding up the vial.

Hermione barely glances at it. She is much better at dealing with poisons and potions. She casts a charm on it. Her face turns dark.

She summons three vials. Draco's complexion improves with every potion. Hermione casts one last spell before checking his vitals.

"He's breathing," she says, sounding relieved. "His heartrate is normal for his condition."

"Thank magic..." I breathe.

I go to him, running my fingers over his forehead. His skin is returning to its usual pallor. He's warming up.

"Keep an eye on him and Lucius? I'm going to try to find whoever did this."

"Wait!" Lucius holds out his arm, blocking my way out.

I stop and stare at him coolly. "Someone just tried to kill your son."

"I know! But I think I know who it was!" Lucius looks pale. "I just don't understand how because he was a right idiot... he doesn't seem capable of pulling off a murder attempt."

"Who?!" I demand impatiently.

"Crabbe."

"Crabbe is dead," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Not the son," Lucius snaps, "Keith Crabbe. His father. When he assaulted me, he said I was going to know what it's like to lose a son. He said my son didn't deserve to live after betraying the Dark Lord."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment! I love it when people say hi ♡♡♡
> 
> Edit: please read the beginning author's note.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta Mejewskie and my alpha noxsoulmate! They are both brilliant and I adore them. ♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Draco**

Before I'm aware of anything else, I feel pain shooting through my body. Everything hurts and I don't understand why. I can't think.

Someone slips an arm under my shoulders. They lift me into a sitting position. I recognize Harry's scent.

He smells like cinnamon and oranges. I lean into the scent, a whine building in my throat.

I feel a vial press against my lips. I don't want to drink it. I shake my head.

"It's okay. It's just a potion for pain relief," Harry's voice says.

"No..."

If I was in my right mind, I would be horrified to hear the whimper in my throat.

"Hermione, isn't there a spell we can use instead?"

"There are a few, but none of them are as effective as the potion. The pain is internal. That makes it difficult to pinpoint."

"Draco, it's me. It's Harry... you made me sleep here when I came in for my shift early. Remember? You used my wand."

I do remember. I haven't told anyone about that.  I still feel reluctant to drink the potion.

" _Anima iunctio_ ," Harry murmurs in my ear. "I'm not going to hurt my soulmate."

That stirs something in my memory. Puerto Rico. Dancing. David Bowie. My dream.

I force my eyes open. The dim light of the room feels like knives stabbing me. Harry tightens his arm around me. I look up into his bloodshot eyes.  I trust him.

I open my mouth. A look of relief washes over Harry's face. I drink the potion he gives me.

"There we go..." Harry squeezes my shoulders.

"Father... he tried to kill me," I mumble. "He poisoned me."

"That wasn't your father." Hermione sits down next to my hip. "We think it was Keith Crabbe."

_"A poison Vinnie was fond of."_

Vinnie. Vincent. Vincent's father... I feel sick.

"How... why?"

Hermione places her dark hand on mine. My skin looks paler than usual in contrast... or maybe that's an effect of being poisoned.

"He was released from Azkaban before Lucius. He stole some of his hair on his way out... and either purchased Polyjuice potion or made his own." Hermione squeezes my hand. "He was released a month before Ginny and Luna were married."

"There's something else." Harry runs his hand through his hair. "Your father was only released from Azkaban today."

"But..." I swallow. "That means Crabbe was here impersonating him before."

"We think he was scoping the place out. Seeing how easy it would be to get to you," Hermione says gently.

I feel like I've swallowed a dozen stones.

"Lucius was coming to visit you earlier, but Crabbe assaulted him. He locked him in a room and stole his hair... then he put the Imperius curse on Ron. Molly was at home and she's perfectly fine."

"Crabbe needed me out of the room so he could poison you," Harry added darkly.

"Did you catch him?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

Hermione and Harry glance at each other. I can read the answer on their faces.

"What about my father?" My voice cracks.

"Lucius is fine. He's at the tea shop. Molly is trying to get him to eat," Hermione says quickly.

I feel some of the tension drain from my shoulders. "Thank the gods."

Harry kisses the top of my head. "Don't worry. We'll keep you and your parents safe."

I believe him. I feel exhausted suddenly. I notice for the first time that the pain is gone. It has been for a few minutes.

Hermione takes out her wand and starts murmuring spells. I recognize the diagnostic magic and bury my face into Harry's chest.

"Well... the good news is, your heart hasn't grown worse. It's stable."

"What's the bad news?" I mutter under my breath.

She must have heard me anyways.  "Harry's theory is right. It is a curse that affects your mind and heart. There's no doubt now."

"Why?" Harry asks, sounding urgent.

"Because... the only times Draco's condition has worsened is when his mind is under stress. It's not just physical." Hermione hesitates. "Bill also said that the curse was effecting his mind and heart. There's too much evidence supporting it being a curse."

I feel exhausted. This is too much for me to deal with right now. I am cursed. This curse is going to kill me unless we can find a way to break it.

It would be so much easier to give up... to let the curse take my life. I deserve this. I have hurt people... people have died because of me.

I glance up at Harry. His mouth is moving. I can't hear him. His eyes are blazing.

I'm in love with him... and I'm selfish enough to choose him over what I deserve. I can't give him up.

I know what I need to do. I have to go back to where this all started.

* * *

I wait until Harry's next shift starts. My father and Arthur are in my room. It's the middle of the night. Harry has already checked on me.

"Arthur, can my father and I have a word alone?" I ask.

"I don't know if that's wise." Arthur glances at my father.

"It's fine. We know he's not Crabbe." I frown. "Please. I haven't seen my father in five years."

My father looks ragged, but he has refused to leave my side. He hasn't spoken much. He just put a hand on my shoulder, told me he was relieved I was alright, and then sat down.

He's looking at me warily now. I turn my attention to Arthur.

"Just... go get some tea and I'll be done talking to him when you get back," I suggest.

"Alright..." Arthur sighs.

As soon as he leaves, I get out of bed. I grab Harry's invisibility cloak and my wand.

"Draco, what are you doing," my father asks in alarm.

"We're going to figure out how to break this curse. There's bound to be something in our library."

My father looks ready to protest, but I'm already pulling on the cloak. "Don't bother arguing. Just come with me."

He sighs and stands up. I grab the journal we found the curse in. My father covers my face with the hood of the cloak.

I don't want Harry to know where I'm going. He would stop me... and this feels like something I need to do alone. I don't want to see Harry there, in the halls of my nightmares. 

* * *

Looking up at Malfoy Manor makes my blood run cold. I have so many bad memories of this place. Memories of being tortured and threatened.

My father used apparation to get us both here. I have to lean on him to stay steady. It probably wasn't the safest method of travel, but it's the fastest.

I clutch his arm tighter as we start walking through the abandoned yard. There are wards in place to keep people out. Only someone in my immediate family or someone with permission from us can enter.

I'll be safe here. Crabbe can't get through the wards now.

"It's going to take ages to make this place livable," my father mutters.

"Its not like anyone is actually living here," I point out.

"Why not?"

I look at him incredulously, but then I remember he can't see me and turn my gaze to the ground.

"Maybe it's because there are too many bad memories."

"It's still our _home_."

"Mother and I are living in France.  Mother lives in a chateau. I have a cottage. We are quite happy with the arrangement."

"You're living in... a cottage?"

"Yes. I raise bees and make wands there."

I can tell he wants to the lecture about not living up to the Malfoy name, but he just purses his lips and stays silent for a moment.

"Well, I'm glad that you're making friends with Potter. That will help our reputation."

I feel my skin crawl at that the thought of using Harry that way.

"Actually, no, I'm not befriending him for that," I say icily.

My father stops. I don't. 

I let myself into the manor, too irritated to be scared of what I'm walking into. The torches light themselves. It's dusty... and the chill in the air is sapping all the heat from my body.

I refuse to let myself dawdle. I pass the dining hall where the muggle studies professor was murdered in front of me and then was eaten by that wretched snake. I pass the parlor where I was tortured. I pass the spot in the hall where my aunt carved 'mudblood' into Hermione's skin.

I am running, trying to escape the ghosts of all my memories. I distantly hear my father calling my name, but I don't stop until I reach the library.

I feel calmer in here. This is one of the few places in the manor that the Dark Lord didn't bother with. There are no bad memories here.

I pull a potion out of my pocket. My heart is racing. I drink the potion and let myself sink onto the floor. I need to rest. I need to calm down.

I force my body into one of the yoga positions Luna taught me. I breathe.

I am safe. The Dark Lord is dead. He can't hurt me anymore.

I force myself to focus on my breathing. Four seconds inhaling. Four seconds holding. Four seconds exhaling. Four seconds holding. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment! I love it when people say hi ♡♡♡


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta Mejewskie and my alpha noxsoulmate! They are both brilliant and I adore them. ♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

****

**Harry**

I'm just exiting a patient's room when someone slams into me. I grunt, grabbing the man to steady him. It's Arthur. 

"Harry!" Arthur looks panicked. "Draco and Lucius are gone!" 

My blood turns to ice. My first instinct is to run to my boyfriend's room and make sure he isn't there. That he isn't hiding or something. It's entirely irrational, so I force myself to take a breath. Being impulsive will not help Draco. 

"What happened?" I ask as Aoife appears at my shoulder. 

"I don't know. Draco asked for a moment alone with Lucius. When I went back to the room, he was gone. I only left for ten minutes." Arthur starts wringing his hands. 

"Was there any sign of a struggle?" Aoife asks in a thick Monaghan accent. 

"No, but the invisibility cloak is gone." 

I start to relax. The cloak isn't kept in plain sight. It's usually kept in the closet of the room. Draco would know where it was, but not someone like Crabbe. I don't even think Crabbe would recognize the cloak for what it is. That means Draco took it. That means if Crabbe did take him, he has a way to hide. Or it means Draco and Lucius chose to take a walk. 

I take a deep breath. 

"Aoife, can you call Julianna in to cover my shift?" 

"I don't need help. I've got this. We have a patient missing. You're the chosen one. Seems like there's no one better to find him." 

Again with the chosen one nonsense. Aoife's voice is teasing though, so I brush it off. I thank her. 

Arthur follows me to Draco's room. He's fidgeting, but I feel calmer in here. I don't understand why. 

There is no sign of a struggle. Draco's wand is gone. So is the journal. It's looking more and more like Draco left of his own volition. I just don't know why he would leave. 

I don't think he's just gone on a walk. He wouldn't have taken the journal for that. I have a bad feeling about this. I turn to Arthur. 

"I need to go to France. Can you try to find Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson? They might have an idea where Draco went." 

"You think he left on his own?" 

"Yes. At least, I'm hoping he did. I don't think an intruder would have known about the cloak. I doubt they would have known which book had the curse in it either." I gesture to the dozens of books around the room. "And that's the only book missing." 

"But why would he leave? Why wouldn't he tell us?" Arthur asks, still sounding worried. 

"I don't know. I'm hoping Luna and Narcissa can tell me. Or Zabini and Parkinson." 

"I'll try to find them." 

"Hermod is at my house. Send a letter with him if you find them or if you hear anything about Draco." 

"I will." 

* * *

Ginny is the one who opens the door to the chateau when I knock. She looks tired, but alert.

"Is something wrong? It's nearly two," she says, ushering me inside. 

"Is Draco here?" I ask urgently. 

Confusion crosses her face for an instant, but horror replaces it quickly. 

"He's missing? How?" Ginny hisses, blanching.

"I don't know if he _is_ missing. He seems to have left with Lucius. I need to know where he might have gone." 

"Did you try the manor?" Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. 

"Uh… no. I came straight here. Wait, are you actually mad at me for this?" I demand. 

"Harry, you know how you get with him!" 

I realise then that Ginny has no idea how I feel about Draco. She doesn't know I'm in a relationship with him. The color rises in my cheeks. 

"Ginny," I start, but she cuts me off. 

"I swear, if you did something negligent and he gets hurt, I will hex you straight to the Asphodel Meadows, Harry! I will curse you so hard, you won't even be able to-" 

"I am _dating_ Draco!" I raise my voice. "I _fancy_ him! I'm not about to let anything happen to my _boyfriend!_ " 

Ginny's mouth falls open. That should be funny because it’s rare that I stun Ginny into silence. Instead, I'm getting angry too. 

" _And_ I am hurt that you would imply that I would be negligent about something like this!" I add, folding my arms. 

Ginny has the decency to look ashamed. She runs her fingers through her ginger curls as she takes a deep breath. 

"Okay… you're right. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry," she mumbles. Then, she puts her hands on her hips and glares up at me. "Are you seriously dating Draco? What about Anthony? What about all the history?" 

"This isn't the time for all of that. Ask Ron about what happened with Anthony. But Draco and I are together and I care about him. A lot. And he's _gone_. Ginny, I need help finding him." 

Ginny's face softens a bit. "I'll go wake up Luna. She might know where he would have gone. Even if she doesn't, she's very good at scrying spells." 

"What about Narcissa?" 

"We gave her a sleeping draught. She's been so worried about Draco, she can't sleep without one." Ginny shifts her weight uncomfortably. 

"I'm sure there's ingredients for an antidote somewhere here. I can make it," I offer. 

"No way. Luna is much better at potions. She'll make it." Ginny rolls her eyes and runs off. 

She has a point. I can prescribe potions easily, but actually making them is another matter entirely. 

* * *

Luna listened to me explain about Draco as she worked on the potion. She didn't say anything, just frowned a bit. 

Thankfully, this potion doesn't need long to brew. It is already light blue, shimmering steam curling in the air above it. Once the steam turns yellow, it will be done. 

I didn't tell her that Draco and I are in a relationship. I asked Ginny not to tell her either. Draco should be the one to tell her and his parents when he is ready. I don't even know if his family knows he's into guys. 

"It sounds like he left on his own," Luna finally says thoughtfully. "He isn't the type to go quietly and he can resist the imperius curse. He's clever. If he was taken, he would have left an obvious sign of it. Lucius would have raised the alarm too." 

"There would be no reason to take Lucius," Ginny adds, her brow furrowing. "Besides all that, if it is Crabbe's father, he's trying to kill Draco. And he's getting more determined or desperate considering he tried to poison him. He would have just killed him there, I think." 

Luna nods, adding a powder to the potion. "He might be at his cottage… but I think it's more likely that he's at the manor." 

I hadn't even thought of the cottage. "I haven't checked either of those places yet." 

"Mm… Ginny, go with him to the cottage. By the time you get back, Mother should be awake." Luna scratches her cheek, smearing newt blood on her skin. 

Ginny grabs a napkin and cleans the blood off. "We'll be back soon." 

* * *

Ginny apparates us to the cottage. It's dark. The lights are all off. I feel my stomach plummet. I was hoping we would find him here. 

"He might be sleeping," Ginny suggests quietly, taking my hand and squeezing it. 

"Yeah… maybe." I squeeze back and knock on the door. 

A moment later, lights flicker on. The door opens and Minty looks up at us. 

"Mr. Potter… and Ginny." She curtsies. 

"Hey, Minty. We can't stay long. We just wanted to know if you've seen Draco." Ginny kneels in front of Minty. 

Minty's eyes grow wide. She looks scared. "I haven't seen him, miss. Isn't he at the hospital?"

"We think he left with Lucius."

"Draco is not here." 

"Alright. Let us know if you see him," I say, raking my fingers through my hair. 

"I will, sir. I will go look for Draco." 

Ginny stands up and gives Minty a gentle smile. "Don't worry. I'm sure Draco will be fine. He's resilient." 

Minty nods once, and then she's gone. The door shuts. Ginny grabs my arm. This time, I apparate us. 

We land outside the manor. The manor's windows are dark. It looks abandoned. 

"I don't think he's here…" I murmur. 

"Well, we still need to try." Ginny squares her shoulders. 

She's always been brave, even in creepy places like this. We walk to the gate together and run into a barrier. The barrier is solid. 

"This magic feels old," I murmur, testing it with my wand. 

"Do you think we can break through it?"

"No. At least not without Hermione. She might know a way." 

"Should we get her?" 

I shake my head. "I don't think so. Draco told me about some of what he went through here. I don't think he would go somewhere with so many bad memories. We should head back."

* * *

By the time we get back to the chateau, Luna has already woken Narcissa and explained the situation. 

Narcissa is sitting on a cream sofa in the parlor. Luna is holding her hand, speaking softly, when Ginny and I walk inside. The color has drained from Narcissa's face, leaving her pale as ivory. 

"Did you find my son?" 

"He wasn't at his cottage and the manor had no signs of life… but I'm hoping you have another idea of where we can look." I kneel on the floor next to her. I don't want to tower over her. 

"Tell me what happened before he left." 

I do. The curse, the poison, Crabbe… I tell her everything except that I'm dating her son. I think she can tell. There's a strange look in her eyes that says she knows exactly what I'm not saying. 

"He's at the manor," Narcissa says after a moment. 

"Are you sure? He has so much trauma there. If the curse is working by attacking his heart based on the trauma, he would know he should avoid the manor as much as possible." Luna tilts her head, looking worried. 

"I'm sure. He's an intelligent young man. He would know that our library is likely to have information on this curse." 

"But we already tried the manor," Ginny reminds her. 

My heart is pounding in my chest. If Draco went there… he was going to be surrounded by memories that could kill him. It barely crosses my mind that the manor looked empty thirty minutes ago. 

"I need to go to him." I stand abruptly. "He's in danger." 

"You can't." Narcissa grabs my arm. "The manor is enchanted to keep anyone who isn't a Malfoy out. You can only get in if you have permission from someone in my family." 

"Uh… can I have your permission?" I ask, trying to keep the impatience out of my voice. 

Narcissa's clear green eyes meet mine, searching. After a moment, she nods and pulls out her wand. Tapping the wood on my hand, she murmurs a spell. A glowing N appears above my knuckles. 

"Please… save my boy." 

* * *

This time, I go alone. I'm a bit nervous approaching the gate of the manor. A small part of me is worried the barrier won't let me through just like earlier. A larger part of me is worried Draco won't be there or he'll be- I shut down that train of thought. 

The barrier lets me through. The gate opens under my hand. When I look up at the manor, I see a few rooms are lit.

I start running. The doors open for me. Hope is building in my chest. 

Lucius is coming into the foyer. He looks exhausted and confused. When he sees me, he doesn't seem surprised. 

"Draco is in the library. I assume my wife gave you her permission." Lucius points up the grand staircase. "Take a right on the first floor. It's the fourth door on the left." 

I don't bother talking with him. My head is filled with Draco and his safety. I run up the stairs. 

Draco turns when I throw open the library door. His eyes widen when he sees me. 

"H-Harry?" 

He's alright. He's alive and breathing and here. I go to him. Relief floods me as I take his face in my hands. 

"Never do that again," I say, pulling his lips down to mine. 

Draco kisses me, but it's a hesitant kiss. I pull back and meet his eyes. 

"How did you find me?"

"Your mum. I was worried. Draco…" I wrap my arms around his shoulders. 

"I…" He bites his lip, his arms winding around my waist. "Are you upset?" 

"A bit… but I'm more relieved that I found you and you're alive." I lean up to kiss him gently. 

Draco presses into the kiss as my fingers run through his long hair. 

"Draco?" 

We break apart and look at the door. Lucius is standing there. He looks stunned. Draco tenses in my arms. For a long moment, no one says anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for my long absence. I was participating in a fest (check out Amaranthine if you want to read it). Then, I was hit with a couple hard things. My uncle is dying and my father in law's girlfriend passed away a few days ago. I haven't felt up to writing until yesterday. Thank you for your patience. 
> 
> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment! I love it when people say hi ♡♡♡


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta Mejewskie and my alpha noxsoulmate! They are both brilliant and I adore them. ♡♡♡
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!
> 
> Happy birthday to noxsoulmate! This chapter is for you ♡
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not well versed in how to write like an American Civil War wizard.

****

**Draco**

I'm fairly certain I've never seen my father this speechless before. The way his eyes keep flicking between Harry and me is freaking me out. 

I've never told him I'm gay. Blaise might have kissed me in front of him, but… I feel my heart leap to my throat. That wasn't my father. That had been Crabbe. Crabbe had watched Blaise kiss me. 

I feel a bit sick at that thought. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because Crabbe, masquerading as my father, had been the one Blaise had tried to help me come out to. At least, I think that was Blaise's goal. If the kiss had been ill received, we could have played it off as a prank. If my father had been neutral or agreeable, it would let me know he wasn't opposed to me being gay. 

Or Blaise had just been teasing me - which is equally likely. 

Harry's arms tighten around me before he lets me go. There's tension in his shoulders, but he makes sure he's between my father and me. 

"I'm dating your son. I would ask your permission, but honestly, even if you forbid it, I'll continue to see him because I love him. Until Draco doesn't want me anymore, I'll stay by his side," Harry says clearly and there's something in his tone that leaves no room for argument. 

My cheeks heat as my father's gaze flicks to me. I really don't want to be having this conversation. Then, something registers in my mind. Harry said he loves me. I want to pull Harry into a kiss. I also want to demand to know if he meant it… and I want my father to not be here for either of those things.

"Draco," my father finally says, interrupting my internal struggle, "we need to talk. Potter, leave us." 

Harry opens his mouth to argue, but I grab his hand. "Harry, give us a minute."

Bloodshot eyes search mine. He looks so worried. I squeeze his hand. 

"I'll be right outside. Call for me if you need me." 

I nod and watch him go. Once the door closes behind him, I take a breath and look my father in the eyes. 

"Before you start talking about using Harry to clear our name, I'm going to stop you now. I'm not with him to use him. At all. No one will use him," I say firmly, folding my arms. 

"I… I wasn't going to suggest that. I didn't know you had feelings for him before." 

Disbelief fills me. I've never known my father to care about my feelings. It's always been maintaining our power and reputation with him. 

"I've had feelings for him for years. You didn't notice when I refused to identify him for you and the Dark Lord?" 

"I wasn't aware you were faking that." My father's eyes narrow.

"He was my only hope. The Dark Lord was torturing me and threatening our family. You were too busy trying to get in his favor to see what was going on," I say quietly. "I didn't switch sides when I gave Harry my wand. It happened before that." 

It takes a long time for my father to speak. So long, I have to force myself to stay still. I glance at the door, wishing for Harry's warmth. 

"I…" he clears his throat. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were so miserable." 

My father has never apologized to me before. It shocks me into silence. He moves closer to me.

"Are you happy now?" he asks, cupping my face in his hands. 

"I'm happy with Harry. I'm happy with my cottage and bees. I'm happy I have my family…" I say hesitantly. I'm not quite sure what he's asking. "But I'm also terrified." 

Being this honest with my father is new to me, but seeing Harry in my childhood home has torn down all my walls. It wasn't just seeing him here in the halls of my nightmares. It was how gently he had held me and kissed me. It was hearing him say he loves me. I have nothing left to keep myself in check. 

My father pulls me into a tight embrace. It surprises me, but it feels okay. Not exactly safe, but reassuring nonetheless. I relax a little. 

"I won't let anything happen to you," he says. 

"You might not have a choice. Didn't… they tell you about the curse?" I ask carefully. 

From the look in his grey eyes, no one had. 

"What curse?" 

"I don't know fully. It's something that is attacking my mind and heart. I came here to try to find more information." 

"And Potter?"

"He was worried about me. Probably. I think the curse is acting through panic attacks… and this place is full of memories that make me panic," I mumble. 

I feel my father tense. He hugs me tighter to his chest. 

"Are you safe here?" 

"I'll be fine in the library… and Harry was my healer before we started dating… so I think I'll be okay." 

It's really strange to see my father being so concerned and affectionate. I can't say I mind it. 

There's a soft rapping at the door and Harry pokes his head in. My father gives him an appraising look. 

"We're going to have to do something about that rats nest he calls his hair," my father murmurs in my ear. 

A startled laugh escapes me. Harry raises an eyebrow at me.

"I was getting worried," Harry says carefully. 

"Everything is fine," I say after a glance at my father. 

Father releases me and moves towards the door. 

"I'll look through the books in the study to see if I can find anything about this curse," he says, giving Harry a curt nod as he passes him. 

Harry waits until the door is closed firmly behind him before taking me in his arms again. Finally. His warmth is comforting. 

"Are you really okay?" Harry asks, searching my face. 

"I think so. My father was very…" I pause, trying to find words. "Concerned about my wellbeing. It was odd, but I think he's starting to understand how his actions impacted our family."

"That's probably a good thing," Harry mutters under his breath. "I'm sorry I outed you to him. I just didn't see anyway else to deal with the situation." 

"It was going to happen eventually. He didn't even say anything about me being gay. I don't think he cares much about it…" I trail off, my eyes flicking to Harry's messy hair. 

"What?" 

"I am fairly certain you're going to be attacked with grooming spells and potions." I grin. "My father is very conscientious about appearances and your hair offends him." 

"My hair…?" he mutters, looking puzzled. "I suppose it could be worse. I was expecting to have to fight him for your-"

I tilt my head curiously as he cuts himself off. A crimson blush spreads across his tan skin. 

"For my what?" I prompt.

"Um… nothing. I was getting ahead of myself." 

"Okay…" I say slowly, watching Harry's cheeks darken. "Regardless, you don't have to fight for anything regarding me. Certainly not with my father." 

The look that crosses Harry's face is amused distress. It's quite the contradiction. I find it hopelessly charming. He leans up and presses his lips to mine. 

Every kiss we've shared so far has been gentle and slow. This kiss is different. There's an edge to it as if Harry's holding himself back.

My pulse is hammering as Harry lifts his hand to my neck. I know he can feel it against his palm. It doesn't surprise me when he breaks the kiss. 

"Did you mean what you said to my father?" I ask breathlessly. 

The flush creeps back over Harry's cheeks. He brushes his knuckles down the side of my face, looking up at me earnestly. 

"Yes. It seems a bit soon to say it... but yes. I meant it. I do love you," he says gently. 

I can't help it. I kiss him again, feeling myself melt into his arms. My heart is pounding. Harry loves me. I want to tell him I feel the same way, but the words get caught in my throat. 

I try to convey all my feelings with that one kiss, but I know it's not enough. It's impossible to keep him from pulling away. He's too concerned with my heart. I should be too, but all I can think about is how soft his lips are. 

"Draco," Harry murmurs, "your heart." 

"I took my potion a few hours ago." 

Harry steps back and pulls out his wand. A moment later, my chest feels warm as my heart slows to a safer pace. 

"You're here to research the curse right?" Harry asks, glancing at the shelves of books surrounding us. 

"Yeah… we have the largest collection of books dealing with dark magic in Europe."

I move to the shelf nearest to the windows. Its filled with dusty books. They're all ancient and have been passed down in my family for generations. 

"These are the ones dealing with curses." I pull out a book bound in dragonhide. It looks forbidding and, when I open it, it wails. I quickly cast a spell to silence it.

"Well, I guess we'll be here for awhile." Harry conjures a blanket and takes a book himself. 

He pulls me to the window seat. Heat rises in my cheeks as he settles against me, pulling the blanket over us. 

"You… don't have to stay here," I say, watching the book Harry selected trying to bite his fingers. 

Harry taps the book with his wand. It falls open with a reluctant flutter of pages. 

"I'm not leaving you here… but that reminds me." 

Harry pulls parchment and a quill out of his pocket. He uses his book as an impromptu desk and scribbles something on it. Then, he duplicates the message several times. There's a flash of blue fire and the notes are gone. 

"What was that?" I ask. 

"Just letting everyone know that I've found you and that you're safe. Hermione will probably respond soon with firm instructions to come back," Harry answers wryly. 

"I can't go back," I object. 

Harry gives me a noncommittal shrug and I know he'll drag me back if he thinks it's necessary. I huff and start reading.

* * *

_"Did you really think you could betray me, Draco?"_

_I look up from where I'm kneeling on the ground. The Dark Lord is standing in front of me. I feel my body go cold. He's holding Harry by the neck._

_"Please…" I choke out. "Kill me instead! Don't hurt him! I love him!"_

_I know that nothing will change his mind. He's wanted Harry dead all of Harry's life. I can't stop the words though. I can't stop pleading for Harry's life._

_I jerk forward as the Dark Lord raises his wand to Harry's chest, but I'm chained to the ground by my neck._

_"Love?" The laugh is high and cruel. "Love is a-"_

* * *

Someone is shaking me. Worried green eyes fill my vision. Harry. Warm arms wrap around my shoulders. 

"Are you okay, love?"

I shake my head. My heart is racing. I feel sick. I can't shake the image of the Dark Lord and Harry loose. 

I hear Harry murmur spells. A few moments later, he relaxes.

"Your heart hasn't gotten worse. I'm going to get your potions." 

I want to protest because the thought of Harry leaving right now, is enough to make me want to cry. Which is ridiculous. I force myself to let go of him. 

I expect Harry to need to go to the hospital or summon the potion, but he just walks to the closest desk. His lime green healer robes are hanging over the chair. 

I sit up. The sun is shining through the window. I must have fallen asleep reading. It would explain the crick in my neck. The window seat isn't the most comfortable furniture here. 

Harry comes back, holding two bottles. I drink the potions. The effect is immediate. My heart settles. 

I look up at Harry tiredly. "Did you sleep at all?" 

Harry hesitates. I see the answer in his eyes and in the books stacked around him. I push him back into the makeshift bed. 

"You need to sleep." 

"I'm fine. Lucius brought me coffee." 

"My father… brought you coffee?" I blink. 

"Well, he brought it for us. I told him to let you sleep and you shouldn't be drinking caffeine with your heart condition. He drank your cup and went back to the study after." 

I stare at Harry. I wonder how that played out. I'm a bit scared to ask, but Harry seems calm enough. If there had been a fight, I would have woken up. 

"Did you… talk with him?" I ask nervously.

"Yes, we ta-" 

My father bursts into the room, cutting Harry off. 

"I think I found it!" 

He hands me the book he brought with him. It looks… normal. There's nothing sinister about it. I take it. It's called _Rare Curses and How to Possibly Break Them_ by Samuel Davis. 

The book isn't as old as I had been expecting. I check the publishing information out of curiosity and the urge to stall. I'm scared to read about the curse. I'm scared that it won't tell us anything. 

The book is American, published in 1863. I dimly wonder how we got it. I take a breath and flick back to the page my father has bookmarked. 

 

** _Diu Mors Cor_ **

_This is ancient powerful magic. A curse brought on by giving the victim soldier's heart, it uses the memories of the victim's trauma to cause stress to the heart. Not much is known about it, but I have spoken with a shaman. She detailed the curse for me for use in my research._

_This curse is cast by giving the victim a potion. The potion's ingredients are so horrific, I will not detail it here. Once the victim has consumed it, they are vulnerable to the curse. The castor will then traumatize their victim. Every consistent terror the victim experiences will secure the curse in place._

_These experiences will cause the victim to go into a panic. The heart will be affected. Slowly, it will deteriorate until it ceases to function entirely._

_Even after the terror ends, the victim will experience flashbacks and nightmares. Reminders of the terror will continue to weaken the victim's heart._

_According to the shaman, there's only been one instance she is aware of where the victim broke free of the curse. She made them a potion. Then, they allowed her to walk in their mind and she healed the terror. She wouldn't say how she did it, just cautioned me against ever using this curse or making it widely known. She did give me the recipe for the potion._

 

Harry pulls the book onto his lap and starts reading the potion ingredients aloud. "Dittany, aloe, flitterby, balsam, foxglove, sesame, sage, honeywater, and dragon's blood…. These shouldn't be difficult to come by. We just need someone to brew the potion." 

"I have all the ingredients here. At least, I should. I haven't checked our supplies yet. If I'm missing anything, Narcissa will have them," my father says, magically making a copy of potion recipe. 

"Luna is really great at making potions," I say, looking up at him. 

"I'll send her a letter, inviting her to come." My father places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. 

"Thank you," I mumble. 

I wait for my father to leave before turning my gaze to Harry. 

"Why don't you look happy? This is progress." Harry's arm slips around my shoulders. 

"Even with the potion, we don't know what the shaman meant by mind walking." 

"I actually have a theory about that, but you're not going to like it." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment! I love it when people say hi ♡♡♡


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta Mejewskie and my alpha noxsoulmate! They are both brilliant and I adore them. ♡♡♡
> 
> Sorry for my absence. I have no excuses other than yule is a very busy time for me and I'm very susceptible to getting sick. 
> 
> Credit to noxsoulmate for the aesthetic!!!!

**Harry**

"No. Absolutely not," Draco says flatly, backing himself into a corner of the window seat. 

"This might be the only way to break the curse," I say gently. "I won't hurt you." 

"You're talking about using a pensieve to view my memories!" 

"You'll be there with me. We can heal them together," I try to explain. 

A look of disbelief crosses Draco's pale face. I want to take him in my arms and soothe his worries, but I have to convince him to at least try this. It might be a long shot, but it's the only thing I can think of. If this isn't what the shaman meant by mind walking, I have no clue what it could be. 

"You're missing the point which is _I don't want to relive any of that and I don't want anyone else to see it,_ " Draco hisses, lips drawn into a thin white line. 

I hold back a sigh of frustration. This is something that needs Draco's full consent. If he isn't completely willing to do this, it might cause more harm. I can understand why he's scared of me seeing his memories. 

 _I didn't... I didn't want to see pity in your eyes. I thought... you would think less of me. That I'm weak. That I'm not your equal. I didn't want you to see how big of a mess I am._ Draco's words surface in my mind. 

"Draco, I love you. I'm not going to force you to do this, but I want you to know that nothing in your past is going to make me love you any less." 

I open my arms to him, a silent invitation for comfort. It takes him a long moment to unfurl his long limbs and crawl back to me. 

Trembles rake through his body as he presses his face into my neck. Shuddering breaths escape him. I think he's barely holding himself together.

I kiss the top of his head tenderly, running my hands up and down his back. After a long moment, he hugs me. 

The silence is broken only by Draco's breaths. As he regains control, his breathing quiets. If it wasn't for his hands fisting in my shirt, I would have thought he had fallen asleep. 

A soft knock interrupts the silence. Draco doesn't look up.

"Come in," I call, my fingers running through long blond hair gently. 

Luna, Ginny, and Hermione walk inside. I'm relieved to see them. Hermione will know what to do. She always does. Luna might even be able to convince Draco to try the mind walking thing. 

Hermione gives me a stern look. She wanted me to bring Draco back to the hospital hours ago. I didn't have time to explain everything; Lucius had come in during our floo call. Eventually, she had stopped insisting I drag Draco back on the condition that she was coming over right after as soon as her shift was over. Really, it wasn't even a condition. It was a demand. 

"Draco?" Luna asks softly as she approaches us. 

Ginny is right behind her, an expression of disbelief crossing her face. I think she didn't quite believe that I'm in a relationship with Draco until now. I can't say I blame her. If someone had told me a few months ago that I would be dating Draco Malfoy and cuddling with him in Malfoy Manor, I would have examined them for head injuries. 

"Luna… you came." Draco's voice sounds faintly surprised.

"Of course I did," she says, "you're my brother." 

Draco pulls himself out of my arms, getting to his feet and hugging her tightly. There's a long silence as Luna holds him. 

Hermione catches my eye and jerks her head to the door. I grab the book with the curse in it before following her. 

"Harry, why didn't you bring him back to the hospital?" she demands as soon as we are in the hall. 

"He didn't want to go. I can't force him to. His condition has been stable. If it had gotten worse, you know I would have brought him back." 

Hermione pinches the bridge of her nose. I can tell I'm about to be lectured, so I open the book and shove it under her nose. A look of exasperation crosses her features, but she takes it and starts reading. 

When she's done, her eyes flick up to meet mine. "Mind walking? Does the shaman mean legilimency or a pensieve?"

"I'm not sure. I thought it meant pensieve. Either way, Draco is refusing to do it. He doesn't want anyone to see his memories." I rub my hands over my face, willing all my exhaustion away. 

"Will it help him?" Ginny says from the doorway. 

Hermione and I both look at her. I didn't know she was there, but it's obvious she heard everything. She has her arms folded in a way I know too well. It's what she does when she's feeling particularly stubborn and ready to fight.

"We can't be sure," Hermione answers honestly, "but this is the best lead we've got."

"Give me the book." Ginny holds out her hand for it. 

"What are you planning on doing?" I ask cagily.

"I want to know exactly what is going on." 

Ginny snatches the book out of Hermione's hands and disappears into the library. 

"Fuck," I mutter, getting a bad feeling. 

I rush in after her. She has already shoved the book at Luna. Draco is seated on the window seat again, looking ashen as Ginny stands over him. 

As soon as Luna puts down the book, Ginny starts talking.

"You won't let anyone try healing your memories? Really? When it could save your life?" she says dangerously. 

"I don't want anyone to see them," Draco mutters. "There has to be another way." 

"We don't have _time_ to find another way!" 

"Then, yes! Maybe I would rather die than relive what he did to me!" 

"You're being a selfish prick! Have you considered how you _dying_ would affect Luna? Your mother? Me? Or even Harry? You are so loved and you are refusing to allow anyone to save your life! We are all going to be heartbroken if you die!" 

Luna grabs Ginny's arm and turns her to face her. Murmuring softly, she gently cups Ginny's face. I can't hear what she's saying, but gradually the tension eases out of Ginny. 

It takes longer than it should for me to notice Draco is about to cry. He's staring at the floor, so it's hard to see his face, but I recognize the slight tremor in his shoulders. 

It breaks my heart to see him like this. I know he's scared and I can relate a little. I've never told anyone about the Dursleys. I don't think I have really told my friends about Anthony. It's terrifying to relive abuse sometimes. 

An idea starts forming in my head. It's impulsive and nerve wracking, but if this works, I might just save his life. I just have to be brave… like I'm asking Draco to be.

"Mione… take Luna and Ginny to Lucius," I murmur, "get them started on the potion… and send Kingsley an owl for me. Tell him I need my memories back." 

Hermione nods and ushers the other two women out of the room. It seems to take ages for them to leave. Once I hear the door shut, I kneel in front of Draco. 

Taking his face in my hands, I tilt his face up to look at me. His eyes are red rimmed, but he hasn't let any tears fall yet. 

"Draco… it's okay to be scared," I say, trying to sound soothing. 

"I can't show them to anyone, Harry. I can't. I can't relive them," he says hoarsely. "I can't let you see me like that."

"I love you. Nothing in your memories will change that. It won't make me pity you or anything. I swear." 

The tears finally fall. I brush them away with my thumbs.

"How can you possibly know that?" Draco's voice comes out as a whimper. 

"I'm going to show you my memories first. I'm going to let you see me at my weakest. Then, you'll understand. I hope." 

"What do you mean?" 

"You might not have said you love me yet and that's okay. I know you care about me a lot. That's why I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you to see me at my worst, my weakest, and still want to be with me. Then, I think you'll understand that even if I see the memories haunting you, my feelings for you won't change," I say gently, running my thumbs over his sharp cheekbones. 

"How can you be sure that it will work?" Draco asks, looking scared. 

"Because I trust you. I trust you enough to allow myself to be vulnerable. I trust you enough to show you things that I've barely even spoken of." I press a kiss to his forehead. "All I'm asking is that you consider changing your mind and allow me to heal you." 

Draco is silent for a long time, staring at me. Every muscle in his body seems to be tense with the urge to flee, but he stays. More tears fall from his eyes. I carefully wipe them away. 

"I will consider it," he finally whispers, "but… are you sure you want to show me something so personal?"

Relief floods me. Even if it's not definitive, at least he's trying. If this works, it could save his life. 

"Yes, I'm sure. I want you to know my past and the things that shaped me into who I am." I press my lips to his forehead again. 

Draco's arms slide around my neck. Pulling me closer to him, his lips find mine. I kiss him carefully, forcing myself to stay under control. 

Kissing Draco is downright intoxicating. It's been getting harder to remember that I have to be gentle and slow. I can't risk him having a heart attack or something just because he's becoming an excellent kisser. 

Breaking the kiss, I lean back a little. Draco meets my eyes. He looks like he's hesitating. I place my hands on his hips, waiting for him to speak. 

"I… Harry… I do l-love you," he says quietly, his voice cracking on the word love. "I just… I have never told anyone that. I wasn't sure how to say it." 

Warmth fills my chest. Beaming, I kiss him again. It's hard to kiss him at first because I can't stop smiling, but the feeling of his lips is enough to focus my attention solely on snogging him. 

Draco's lips part under mine, a soft sound escaping him. I lift my hand to his neck to monitor his pulse, but he grabs it. He pulls me, leaning back on the window seat and tugs me on top of him. 

"Draco," I try saying, but he's dragging me into another kiss. 

"I'll… be fine… don't stop," Draco breathes in between kisses. 

I should stop. I should definitely move away. The feeling of Draco's tongue slipping into my mouth quells those thoughts immediately. I brush my tongue against his and the noise that escapes him is enough to drive out all thoughts except one.

_I need him to make that noise again._

The door creaks open and I reluctantly tear my lips away from his to look at the intruder. It's Luna. She doesn't look surprised to see me on top of Draco. 

"Harry, the only ingredient Lucius is missing is honeywater. Can you go to Draco's cottage and get some? Minty should be able to help." 

At first, I don't understand why she is asking me to do this, but it's extremely hard to say no to Luna. I glance at Draco, but he seems just as confused as I am. 

"Uh, yeah. I can do that." I stand up. "I'll be back soon. Tell Hermione if there is anything you need. Luna, make sure he eats something." 

"Of course. I'll ask Ginny to make some curry. It's her specialty." Luna smiles. 

"More like it's the only thing she can make," Draco mutters. 

"That's fair." Luna laughs. "I can't cook at all. When we're home, all we eat is curry and toast." 

"Uh… should I just pick something up?" I ask in amusement. 

"No, I like Ginny's curry," Draco says. "You can stop stalling now." 

I flush and roll my eyes, wondering how Draco knew I was waiting for my erection to soften before walking. 

"Hush you." I kiss his cheek before leaving. 

It takes until I'm at the gate to realise Luna probably wanted privacy with Draco. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment! I love it when people say hi ♡♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental illness, please seek help. I have PTSD, depression, and agoraphobia. I know just how valuable proper mental health care is. If you ever need help immediately, please, check out this website:
> 
> http://www.cocoonais.com/mental-health-hotlines-worldwide/ 
> 
> It will direct you to a list of mental health hotlines in your country. If your country isn't listed, you can google it. 
> 
> Also, abusive relationships are a very real problem. Anyone can be abused. Domestic abuse is incredibly dangerous. If you suspect someone you know is being abused, or if you think you might be... I urge you to seek help. Especially if you find yourself googling 'signs of an abusive relationship'. Check out this website for resources:
> 
> http://www.ncdsv.org/ncd_linkswominternational.html
> 
> This work doesn't deal with the topics of rape or incest, but I do want to add this last resource. Unfortunately, it is only an American resource, but still, it is useful and I've used it myself. 
> 
> https://www.rainn.org/
> 
> Be safe everyone. Blessed be.
> 
> EDIT: 
> 
> There is now art for this fic!
> 
> [Art for chapter 7 by Fictional!](https://bumpingbees.tumblr.com/post/186389613211/ladyseidenlocke-fictional-ladyseidenlocke)
> 
> [Art for chapter 13 by Vkelleyart! ](https://bumpingbees.tumblr.com/post/188883184726/vkelleyart-its-finished-drarry-artwork)


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